Tuesday 24 March 2009

Here's A Frightening Thought

If Faubert doesn't get his finger out, he will be back on le payroll acting as a L'argent Provocateur next season. Can you imagine Le Sulk after returning from his dream move to Madrid back to cold, wet, nasty old Newham? If he didn't like it first time around, he's going to like it even less after sitting on his derrière in Madrid for six months. And just think how fat that arse will be after all that inactivity! Will we have a pair of shorts big enough for Faux Pas when he returns? I suppose he could always borrow a pair off Beano!

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fanno I seem to recall before you were sent to the stands at the org you used to say 'When Faubert plays we score goals', i always thought you were a firm believer in the skills and creative savvy of our very own worlds fattest arse?

Anonymous said...

The one thing Faubert has looked capable of doing is whipping in a good cross. I assume he once had pace that justified his nick name but perhaps his achilles injury saw to that. Certainly his crossing looked dangerous early in the season and I thought he was going to make a good partnership with Behrami, alternating between attack and defense down the right. Give him some pace and maybe he'd be OK, as it is I think he's lost his confidence.

Anonymous said...

I've never seen a so called winger who has never taken an opponent on, he offers nothing going forward, has been caught out defensively and also sees fit to shout his mouth off that he should be playing...waste of time for me!!!!

Anonymous said...

Is this another one in the "How good is......." series? Only usually you strip them naked and have a look at what they have under their fingernails and Faubert seems to have gotten off light.

Anonymous said...

I hate the way you always sit on the fence Basil!

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha i cant help it Vern i just cant criticise anyone else, its not in my soft nature!!!!

Anonymous said...

When a much vaunted player arrives and then misses the season through injury, there is an enormous expectation. When that player then looks as poor as Faubert has, it makes the disappointment somehow worse. I can't see us getting much of our £6million back!

Anonymous said...

Maybe he'll head back to the Cote d'Or: Here's your coat and there's the door!!

Anonymous said...

The thing is and belive it or not i have said it from the start, he was a young frenchman who was playing for a top team in france, if he really was that good a player he would have had more than 1 international cap and he certainly would have been more sought after than what he was. It says it all for me when you think that the only reason he signed for West Ham was the fact that we outbid Rangers by £2 million. Rangers for fucks sake...what Rangers players could cut it in the premier? their best player was going to sign for Birmingham in January, the mighty blues, thats the level we're talking about and thats the level Faubert is!!!

Hammersfan said...

Bas, you have a good memory. What was it, five of our first seven goals this season came from Faubert crosses I think. But then it all came to a grinding halt. Like you say, he doesn't even TRY to get past a full back, never mind succeed. I suspect even Neill could do him for pace. Maybe the injury did for him, but I saw more pace from Dyer in ten minutes on Saturday than I have seen from Faubert all season. The guy needs a rocket up his derriere, and let's face it, it's a big enough target! Even LBM could hit that one!

Hammersfan said...

Ironside, it is not one in the "How Good Is?" series. Faubert, Downpipe and LBM have a sub category entitled, "How bad are?"

Anonymous said...

Fanno i'll admit he started off reasonably well but theres only so much backwards and sideways pasing we can witness. I really thought this season would be the making of him if he was given the chance and no one can argue that he wasn't. He played a fair bit of football for us this year and simply didnt cut it, as vern said we will never get anywhere near the 6 million we shelled out for him...good old eggy, if theres one person i'd never want as my investment manager....

Hammersfan said...

I blame Turds! But I would!!!

Anonymous said...

Faubert? Just a wannabe Camembert - he stinks.

Hammersfan said...

And we thought he would brie-ze past the defenders when we bought him!

Anonymous said...

Don't you realise that we have first option on all frenchies? If he was any good he'd have joined us, I saw him once or twice and I have to say that if he displayed any talent; I did not see it.

Hammersfan said...

The trouble is Top Gun, between the top 4 and Tottenham, you have the whole market stitched up. Our mistake was to fork out £6million on a punt. But then that was the strategy under Eggs and Turds. Mind you, now we've taken a punt on Savio!

Anonymous said...

He'll be back - we haven't seen the last of Faubert! On a different note, our football is a bit too slow and predicatable at the moment. I watched the 1976 European game v.Frankfurt on YoutTube last night, our 1989 league cup win over Liverpool and some other games and I can't believe A- how many chances we created over the course of a game and B- how direct we were at times, even players like Dev and Sir Trev getting the ball forward quickly at times. We've got to mix it up people! Nothing to do with Faubert but I can't create my own topic on here! Denbighammer.

Hammersfan said...

Den, if you want to post something on the mordant org, I'll gladly copy it onto here. Not sure how I can open this up for contributions by others. Am investigating how to springboard to a true chat room style platform.