Sunday 19 April 2009

West Ham Takeaway - From Ice Cold to Cooking Hot!


Well we have done North so why not try East? We have tried the deep freezer, so why not try a spell in the cooker? Talk about from one extreme to the other! The little old East End cockle and winkle stall that was West Ham United looks set to whizz from the far north of Iceland to the Far East of, well we are not quite sure where. Another Thai dodgy billionaire perhaps? Or maybe an oil rich Arab? Or perhaps a steely Indian?

In a strange way, and given what the banks have been up to it is a very strange way indeed, I was kind of looking forward to the idea of being owned by a consortium of banks. There seemed something almost old fashioned and quaint about the idea of level headed bankers making sound business decisions about the future of the club. This wasn't going to be a crazy ego (or Eggyo?) trip, but a period of stability, with the club run properly to maximise its sell on value.

Now, all of a sudden, it appears that we may be about to become somebody else's plaything, a pleasure doll to be used for the amusement of some mega-rich slime-bag who will no doubt take his pleasures and then shaft us according to his whims. Oh he may dress us up like a tart and walk us out on the town for a while, but there will be no love in the relationship, no real understanding of what we care about, about what we represent, and if we start to sag a bit in the vital areas, you can bet your frilly knickers he will lose interest and look for his thrills elsewhere.

We are in the shop window again it seems, a naked mannequin or, worse still, a painted tart fronting a Bangkok brothel. You wouldn't want to see your sister paraded like this and, as a member of the West Ham family, I am squirming as I imagine some fat grease-bag stranger eying up and down the love of my life before fantasizing about what he is going to do to her.

An orgy of bankers or sold into slavery to somebody from the Orient? The choice isn't great, but of the two, I would go with the former. At least the bankers would be interested in due diligence and protecting the assets. When you are somebody's whore, there is no thought for your long term well being!

2 comments:

chey fitz said...

A very emotional observation Hammersfan. We are in limbo at the moment and any period of stability would be welcomed. Any purchase of the club would require due diligence which many (apparent) buyers have had the opportunity to carry out but have not (as of yet)

There are many bridges to cross this season and summer, European qualification, New contracts for our best talent (young and not so young) as well as GZ and SC.

Any buyer will wait till the season is over and probably till the club has managed to keep or even improve the squad before looking at an acquisition.

I believe the banks will want to pass on the asset this summer, they will know a few injuries can destroy our season and relegation could threaten again. this would wipe millions of our value and lead to any buyers slamming the door on their way out.

This is the problem, The ideal situation is that the bank invests to improve the squad, not just with a transfer kitty but with these new contracts, new training ground etc

A buyer can then see the long term future of the club as an investment, not a plaything and take us as a long term commodity and not as a cheap whore for a night on the town.

The probable situation is more the banks providing the minimum it can, our assets being protected but not enhanced. It is a buyers market and we don't have the embarrassment of riches we have had before, owning our own ground is the major selling point, not the squad.

Stability yes for a time but at what risk to the team, the manager and of course us the fans

Hammersfan said...

All so very true chey, the nightmare scenario is, of course, asset stripping but it looks like that will not happen.