Sunday 19 April 2009

Zola Tries to Energise Beano!


You have to love this guy Zola, he just does not know when the odds are stacked against him! Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool away? No problem, we can take a point at each! Villa away with eight players ruled out by injury? Let's go and play some football! Hungry banks circling the club like vultures? It is not a problem, we play football and the rest will take care of itself! But now, surely, the guy has bitten off more than he can chew. Zola is actually expecting Beano to get off his death bed and play a game of football - this season!

The little package of positive thought has been quoted as saying of Beano, "He would have made a big difference to us this year. He can give us something extra, especially with goals. We are looking forward to having him back soon."

"It would be fantastic if he could maybe play a game or two before the end of the season. It would be really great not only for him but for the supporters and for the club.

"His finishing is amazing. This team's build-up is very good. Maybe we lack a little bit of finishing which is something Dean Ashton has in his blood so he would be the perfect player for us."

Wonderful stuff from Zola, but he obviously doesn't realise that it takes Ashton six months to get into condition even after he has started playing! "Run? Jump? You want me to run and jump already? I am only 10 games in to my comeback!"

I think the only way we will see Ashton play this season is if Zola trades his tracksuit for silks and saddles up the giant chestnut. Move aside Motson, give the microphone over to Graham Goode! " And they're coming down the tunnel onto the pitch and Beano is hanging a little, trying to take the corridor down to the treatment room, but Zola has his whip in his left hand and has given him a couple of slaps down his hind quarters as a reminder. Oh dear, it's started to drizzle and you can see that Beano doesn't like that. Zola has given him a couple of kicks in his ribs with his heels and it looks as if he might actually get him out on to the pitch this time. But no, what's this, Beano has reared up and is trying to throw his jockey! But Zola has remained calm. He is walking him around in circles. They are calling for the hood now. Zola is nudging him forward, Clarke is leading him by the bridle and, yes, that's it! Beano is actually on the pitch! Beano is ready to race! Over to John McCririck for the latest betting."

4 comments:

Moore2come said...

Is that Buddha you by any chance?! Very hostile towards the big man still I see.

Hammersfan said...

Mate, you know me, peace and love to everybody and everything on earth. Unlike the Buddha and Beano, however, I play football regularly. Funnily enough, I have a nasty ankle injury at the moment - it keeps giving way under me and sends shooting pains into the foot - but I played on Friday night. I love playing football. Wish I was convinced that Beano felt the same way. I suspect Zola wants him to play to put him in the shop window, hoping Tottenham, City or Newscastle will blow £15million on a BUPA patient! Did you ever finish Moby Dick? Beano could be the great white whale, except Moby had some fight in him!!!!

Anonymous said...

guy who wrote the story ur a retard who does not know anything u keep on slating deano!!! but i would lik me to see u come bak that easily from an ankle injury and not give way if u r a west ham fan which buy the sound of all ur stories ur not ur a spuds fan close this blog down or get someone else to write it some one who konow what they r talki9ng about ashton is only injured because he ruled himself out if he wanted to get injured straight away agen he couldve come bak about 7 games ago why don't u slate someone who bloody deserves it like michele or tristan or boa morte or kovac u lousey son of a bitch

Hammersfan said...

Anon 1432, good to see such a good West Ham fan slating three players instead of just one! I'm not the biggest fan of Boa and Tristan, but they have managed more appearances than Beano. How many games in how many seasons from the golden boy? Not enough. Try to moderate your language in future so I don't have to. Who exactly do you think will close this blog down? Big Brother doesn't rule in Cyber Space - well away from the Org anyway!