Tuesday 16 June 2009

Oneday Never! Compensation For Daylight Robbery!



You couldn't write it could you? Tootatthem have just agreed compensation for stealing Oneday Never from Saliva! It's kind of like paying somebody compensation for giving you the HIV infection!

I wonder how they arrived at a final figure. Was it based on what might have been for the Spanish club or what actually happened at Tootatthem? Did the £50m that was spent to keep the Cockyfools in the Prem form part of the final calculation? Did the Tootatthem lawyer cite the decision to recruit Faux Pas for Real Madrid as proof that Oneday has no idea whatsoever? How about the outstanding performance of Martin Jol since his departure from the North London "giants"?

Surely Oneday should now consider a legal action of his own. His reputation was so badly damaged by his time at Tootatthem that he was forced to accept a position at little old Real Madrid! Why do you think it is that managers do well either side of their 18 month stint at the Trotspurs, yet fail utterly whilst they are there? Bit of a mystery that. Perhaps the club is SOOOOOOOOOOOO massive that nobody can manage them!

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yet another inconsequential Spurs story, its amazing how spamheads pick over and obsess over every tiny detail of THFC

Scott said...

Jeez, your nicknames are terrible, embarassing almost.
Tootathem?
Saliva?
OneDay Never?
How do you think of these???

Anonymous said...

I'll have a Double and a Higher League Position Please

Oh and for dessert I'll have Death By Obsession With Spurs

Anonymous said...

spurs and ramos???...should you be talking about the fact your trying to sign what is surely the worst striker in the prem! caceido....who? lol.... glad to see west ham are trying to bring in players at their level!

Hammersfan said...

Scott, I named him Oneday Never the day he was appointed. I also predicted he would last 18 months. Go back far enough in this blog and you will find it. Quite a prophesy!

I think Tootatthem sums up Spurs beautifully, driving around in a souped up Ka, rear end jacked up, sound system blaring, chrome hubcaps, go fast sripe, thinking they look so cool, tooting at the big boys in their Mercs as they pull up alongside them at the lights! Then the season starts and they struggle to find first gear!

Edz said...

Good analogy. I have many myself about Tottenham. What car would you say sums up West Ham at the traffic lights?

Hammersfan said...

LOL Good question Edz. Under Curbishley, a twenty year old brown Volvo towing a caravan. Under Zola, we have traded in the Volvo under the government's scrappage scheme and I'm not sure what is hidden in the garage. I have a hunch that it may be a Mazda!

Of course, the Tootatthem fans think we have a white nag towing a gypsy caravan!

steve said...

so we had to pay sevilla compensation...so what? were rich, we dont care.
when your a big club you have to speculate to accumulate and we'll be the first to admit it didnt work out.
we wont moan and groan about it for months on end like when you cheated sheffield utd and had to pay them compensation.

Hammersfan said...

Of course you won't, you'll be too busy sorting out the compensation to be paid to 'Arry after you've sacked him in October!

Suburban Sid said...

They'll only be able to pay compensation to 'arry boy if he and Kev leave any cash after all the dodgy dealings .....big if!

Anonymous said...

Is Tootathem supposed to be pronounced 'two ta them' in honour of our 2-0 victory over you at the Boleyn?

Hammersfan said...

Nope, Toot at them as in what David Pleat did as he approached a line of girls in the red light district.

Anonymous said...

You have to remember that despite "OneDay"'s obvious shortcomings, he still managed to do something that no West Ham manager has done since 1980.

He won a trophy.

How are you lot going to celebrate the 30th anniversary of your last significant trophy win at the end of the season, by the way?
Bankruptcy or relegation, perhaps?

Hammersfan said...

And you still sacked him! Poor 'Arry, no wonder he's twitching!

Anonymous said...

He paid the price for our worst start to the season in living memory.

Still couldn't finish above us or manage a draw against us despite that though, could you?

Poor old West Ham...

Hammersfan said...

Great big super rich Tootatthem! Actually, Oneday didn't pay the price, Tootatthem did; and now you've paid even more for the privilege of funding Oneday's cock ups! But what the hell, crow about it! That's all a Cockyfool is good for!

Anonymous said...

That really is one of the worst comebacks that I've ever read.

We're rich?
Oh, damn...

We paid out compensation for a manager?
Shame...

We're not on the verge of administration and currently owned by a bankrupt Icelandic bank?
Terrible...

Hammersfan said...

LOL See the Harry Enfield thread.

Anonymous said...

I clearly wasn't bragging about being rich in my previous comment (17 June 2009 21:57), merely pointing out that it's a very weak criticism.

Would we rather be a financially well run club that's won more than four times as many trophies as West Ham or on the verge of administration and owned by a bankrupt bank?
That's a no-brainer, so you're perfectly qualified to answer it.

Hammersfan said...

LOL How did you know I was Tory Boy?

Anonymous said...

The same Oneday Never that won more trophies in his one year at Tottenham than what West Ham have managed in the last 28 years...

And you guys struggle to see where us Spurs fans come from when we say the "rivalry" is a little one-sided!

17-4 Not even kind of close is it?
Why does this "rivalry" even exist?