Friday 18 September 2009

Duxbury Welcomes General Franco


West Ham's CEO, Scott Duxbury has announced, "I am very pleased to be able to welcome Guillermo to West Ham as I was determined to deliver the extra attacking options that Gianfranco wanted for the new season."

He forgot to add, "I failed to deliver any of the attacking options that Gianfranco wanted. He and Nani supplied a long list of players who would enhance the squad but, most unreasonably in the circumstances, all the clubs wanted money for them."

"I dillied and dallied for as long as possible to save wages, and sold James Collins but, in the end, I had to sign somebody. I did not force Franco on Gianfranco, I gave the manager a choice, between an overweight Aussie striker who he knew couldn't cut it any longer in the Prem and an injury prone Mexican with no experience of English football whatsoever."

"I am confident that Gianfranco has made the right choice. He is the manager so if it is the wrong choice, we all know who to blame don't we? By the way, has anybody noticed how well Stech has been playing. He must be due a first team start sometime in January surely?"

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hammersfan, usually like your posts and feel the ctitisism leveled at you from some quarters is over the top and unfair but I have to say that today's post is a little harsh given all the circumstances surrounding us at the minute.

Anonymous said...

why have you got a pic of Marek Stech you idiot???
You really are a spurs supporter i claim my five pounds!!!

Anonymous said...

That's a nasty obsession you've got there, HF. Your Duxbury fixation appears to be all consuming.
Just look back through your recent posts and try and find one where your malaise hasn't manifested itself. The Dicks & Grays post is about the only one, I think.
You need help, mate. Professional, psychiatric help.
Never seen a worse case of Duxburyitis in my life. Treatment is needed and fast otherwise you may develop a black mane, bushy eyebrows, a shiny patina, a penchant for wearing suits and, strangest of all, A LIKING FOR WEST HAM!
God forbid, whatever next!

Hammersfan said...

1003, read the last paragraph. Or can you only look at the pictures?

1600, I do not deny that I believe Duxbury has done enough wrong to merit his removal. I think he has taken the fans for mugs.

0819, I feel Duxbury should be held accountable for the circumstances surrounding us at the moment.

Duxbury's eyebrows said...

You know something fanno? You might be onto something about that absolute cad and bounder Duxbury, cos I heard that he lives on top of a enormous mountain where he has developed a dirty great ray gun, designed to wipe out the entire population of the planet. He will any day now, state his demands to all the world leaders as he sits there stroking his cat whilst wearing his black velvet gloves. Where's James Bond when you need him?

Hammersfan said...

LOL We swold him to Spurs along with Defoe and Carrick!