Monday 30 November 2009

East End Paupers Pay West End Agents!


Good to know that, despite our financial woes, we can still cobble together enough cash to line the pockets of those leeches on the game, the football agents. We may be fourth from bottom in the Premiership table, suggesting that the quality of our signings isn't that great, but we can surely feel proud of our position in the league table for fees paid to agents: a very respectable 7th no less, paying almost double what those misers Everton have parted company with, more than double what Villa forked out and not so very far behind the figure paid by Champions League qualifiers Arsenal! Oh, and not forgetting, almost three times what Manchester United paid!

I think a couple of people deserve a huge round of applause in the light of this! Step forward Nani and take a bow for your excellent links around Europe! I wonder how much Savio's agent pocketed? And the agents of Lopez and Tristan for that matter!

And, of course, we must not forget the "Banker", our very own Scotty Duxbury, he who agrees to pay the piper! Well done sir! Good to see that it isn't just "oral cuddles" you dispense with such aplomb!

Isn't it a shame that we can't scrap this silly business of deciding final league positions based on daft things like points and simply allocate positions on the basis of how well clubs look after the needs of the guys who make the game work - the wonderful agents!

4 comments:

hammalot said...

This is par for the course when you skew your signings to foreign players. High risk but also potentially high reward. Shame we havent had much of the later.

You gonna do an article about our lovely new injury crisis HF?

Fonzie's Bald Patch said...

Just think we were disgusted by the amount of the Tevez fine and here we are spunking away the same amount to agents for all of our amazing transfer deals.

Scotty sanctioned it and we pay Nani a way too, it's amazing.

Still at least we're top half in the table right?

Straight4ward said...

If we can put aside the Duxbury bashing for a moment.
Apparently there were 803 transactions by the 20 Premier League sides in the past 12 months. A truly staggering average of 40 per club. Even if you take double counting - ie; an agent receiving payment from both the selling club and the buying club - it is hard to see how this figure could be reached. It pretty much needs the majority of players to be renewing their contracts once a year!
This suggests that the malaise is rife throughout the game. The system is rotten to the core. No club can come out of this with much credit because they have all failed to make a stand against it.

If you really want to tilt at windmills, forget Duxbury, go after the parasitical agents. You'll get my full backing, for what little it's worth.

Hammersfan said...

Forget Duxbury, I wish I could!

Your point is valid of course but I wonder how much Beano's agent pocketed when Duxbury gave him an improved contract so he could paint go fast stripes on his wheelchair!