Wednesday 6 January 2010

Wenger Is After Cole - The Proof


The Sun says:

Evidence is mounting that Arsene Wenger is chasing Carlton Cole. The Arsenal manager was seen slipping into Upton Park on Sunday afternoon and was caught on camera shaking Zola's hand and smiling. This, of course, is the standard way of sealing a deal.

With both Van Persie and Bendtner out injured, Wenger is desperate for somebody fit and ready to step into the team, which is why he fancies a player who has not kicked a ball in anger throughout December and January.

Traditionally, Wenger favours a short passing game and has repeatedly rejected claims that his side would benefit from a tall target man in the traditional English style. But whilst Wenger may have been inflexible in his thinking and football philosophies in the past, that does not mean he is incapable of a conversion on the road to Damascus. It is not impossible that Wenger may now favour a "knock it up there quick approach" after a number of years without a trophy.

Wenger is also a keen admirer of English players. He only packs his team with foreigners as a "next best" option. It is his secret dream to field 11 Englishmen one day, favouring their more subtle skills and refined football brains to the ill educated and rudimentary types of players hailing from countries such as France and Spain.

Clearly Carlton Cole is on his way to Arsenal with the only stumbling blocks being that West Ham do not want to sell him and Cole being happy at Upton Park. Minor details we are sure you will agree.

Tomorrow The Sun says why Diamanti will join AC Milan!

20 comments:

T.I.S said...

lol brought a smile to my face

Anonymous said...

pathetic article with foolish reasoning. Why Arsene is chasing Cole because of the warm hand shake which seals the deal. Bullshit...we bloody dont need a player who is not good in one touch. We are better off if dont buy any.

Anonymous said...

Nicely put (and I don't mean the previous comment).

Hammersfan said...

Oh dear God 1621.

Can they transplant brains yet?

Unknown said...

Very funny. Whoever 16:21 is, oh dear, oh dear.

SHZA said...

Obviously sarcasm is lost on the second poster. Has the cold killed off some of his brain cells?

Haribo said...

Indeed, great work as usual from the Currant Bun.

No doubt it was listed as an "EXCLUSIVE".

Haribo said...

P.S. 15 million people want to close your blog down? By Jove.

According to the theory of "if you don't annoy anyone, there's no point in writing", you've done terribly well.

Tom said...

HF very good ... what made it better was the anomymous 16:21 comments ..

however very true

Happy New Year mate

Hammersfan said...

It's more than that Julian. Apparently it is being blocked in China!

Happy New Year to you Tom!

The Fairies said...

HAHAHAHA NICE 16:21!!! SPOT ON M8!!! hahahahahah. What a brain

Anonymous said...

Funny article, I agree whole heartedly. And just to join the bandwagon I hope 1621 has come back and realised exactly what a spazz he really is. Ha ha ha.

Anonymous said...

the refined footballing brain of the english compared to that of abroad - well, platini, zidane, bergkamp - maybe once they failed a math test but are you serious?

This is one of the most ludicrous and pathetic article I've ever read - it is boarder line xenophobic, and the idea that you can see it to the realms of arsene wenger's unexposed mind to be able to know that he wants 11 english players is laughable.

myabe he is after carlton cole - I don't honestly know, but your reasoning is truly pathetic.

Anonymous said...

(from above comment) - ...I would say to those idiots at the sun :D

*in tribute to 16:21* :)

The Fairies said...

hahaha fuckin hell, was about to go off on 08:35.. well done m8, u had me there!

Hammersfan said...

Oh dear God, another one! 0839, have you ever heard of irony or sarcasm? How can ANYBODY be so stupid as to take the article seriously? Incredible, truly, truly, truly incredible!

Anonymous said...

Umm I actually thought the same as 16.21 for a min...

reason for it... failed to read the whole article and didnt notice it was 100% sarcasm :)

Screw Cole and 98% of our rumoured signings really, I much rather we just forced Simpson back and pay some compesation to QPR. (if thats possible?)

Anonymous said...

Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear !

Anonymous said...

It's obvious what context the article has been written in - but it's not THAT funny. Just another shit blog from some mug jumping on the bangwagon

Hammersfan said...

What bandwagon is that exactly?