Monday 8 February 2010

Hammersfan Survey - Results Delayed!


With the World of Blog on tenterhooks, the anxiously awaited result of the Hammersfan poll has been inexplicably delayed. Like the announcement of West Ham's year end results, the return to fitness of Kieron Dyer and the next West Ham win, pundits are wondering what on earth is going on and if it will ever happen. Ballot boxes were supposedly closed sometime on Sunday but, to date, there is no sign of the anonymous returning officer.

A spokesman for a West Ham supporters group said: "This delay is utterly unacceptable. We were looking forward to an early confirmation that the sick individual who writes thegamesgonecrazy is, in fact, a Spud. We are beginning to have doubts about the guy who set up this poll. Has he shot himself in the foot? Are the results not as clear cut as we all know they should be?"

Perhaps revelations that the system allowed multiple voting threw a wet spammer in the works. One anonymous poster claimed to have lodged 29 votes and Hammersfan himself participated ten times, supporting the view that he was a negative wally and a Spud. It is perfectly possible that the Electoral Commission or even the UN have become involved as a result.

Meanwhile, the pollster will be setting up a new vote: "Will West Ham win against Birmingham on Wednesday?" and he is confident that if enough Hammers fans vote yes, we will be awarded the game even if Birmingham score more goals than the boys in Claret and Blue. So get voting guys, victory depends upon you!

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

you're such a dick!! But you do make me laugh :)

Kareem said...

For Birmingham we need to fix our left wing.. we just have to! Illunga left back with Collison on the left..with Spector/Faubert on rightback with Faubert/Behrami on the wing.. it's the best way. I really do think Behrami should be on the bench and I'd rather start with Stanislas. Yes, Behrami runs, but he's not all that great, I'msorry guys. Maybe the bench will set his rear-end on fire for a good sub appearance.

Anonymous said...

you wearing a bra in that pic HF?

Winston said...

You are very very funny Hammersfan. You make me laugh. I only voted once. I am too honest. You will make it on stage one day, perhaps sweeping it. This is the only blog i read where i laugh on occasions. Very enjoyable. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

It's got to you then

Hammersfan said...

1108, I haven't been able to sleep!

Cheers Winston.

0009 Looks like the sort to burn a bra to me!

2306 I can't argue with your assessment!

Anonymous said...

They voting is in..... (after the disallowing the multiple voters).

Results as follows

1) is hammers fan a negative wally?

68.2% of you say "yes" he is

2) do you think he is actually a hammers fan?

56.9% of you think "no" he isn't

(I think if you asked the same question of Iain Dale 100% would say "yes" he is obviously a hammers fan.

Stani Army said...

Are you sure Anonymous 17:33? This guy wouldn't:

http://tinyurl.com/yfvm794

Hammersfan said...

LOL So do explain how you managed to discount the multiple voters and what verification procedure has been employed. What was the result before you made an adjustment? And would you please explain how you could possibly know who multiple voted and how they voted, given you could not have access to IP addresses without a very serious breach of confidentiality? Do I have to report the site you used to my service provider and request an investigation? In order to facilitate this investigation, would you please supply your name instead of hiding behind anonymity? You are a complete arse!

Anyway, I am now going out to buy a replica Tottenham shirt. I was born in East Ham Maternity Hospital, was raised a West Ham fan in a West Ham family, have raised my son as a West Ham fan and have converted my daughter's Canadian boyfriend from a Calgary Flames Ice Hockey fan to somebody who looks for West Ham results and games on the net every week - and all along, it appears I don't support West Ham! How could I have got this so wrong for over 40 years? But, thanks to your poll, I now understand that I was a Tottenham fan all along! Bugger! All those times I have felt distraught after a Tottenham victory over ourselves when really I should have been delighted! Amazing to think that I was at Upton Park CHEERING when Ade Coker and Trevor Brooking scored against Tottenham! What the bloody hell was I thinking of, cheering when my team were conceding goals! What a fool! Thanks so much for enlightening me!

Anonymous said...

Stani Army - at least the other fella is positive..........

Hammersfan said...

Try running the poll about Dale on his site - he will take it down immediately and ban you! Spot the difference?

How about running a poll on WesthamtillIdie along the lines of "Is Dale a Tory twat who wants to restrict freedom of speech on his blog and in society at large?" See how long it is before Iain or Chandos take it down!

Hammersfan said...

Question 2 could be, "Did Dale start supporting West Ham because of Morley and Bishop?"

Stani Army said...

Anonymous 17:57,

HF is positive too. Everything he says, and I may not always agree with his opinion, is because he wants to see an improvement in his team. This IS positive. We cannot go through life with blinkers on.

Some people on here would be better off spending their time challenging him on his opinions then those immature insults like you're a Spurs fan, or your grammar isn't correct and bla bla bla. Who cares, let's talk footy.

Hammersfan said...

Fair point Stani but grammar and spelling are important mate. Without them the fabric of society will be shattered. And if anybody mixes his metaphors, God help him!

Stani Army said...

I agree HF. My point was more about the odd accidental mistake that people latch onto for no reason, e.g when you called Hutton Hudson. Big deal, it's a blog, not a novel. As for people who cannot write at all; that's another story.

This reminds me of a line in The Thin Blue Line and it highlights the importance of good grammar. Grim was telling Raymond that his mistakes will result in Grim getting the blame. He phrased it like so:

"cause you know what'll happen Raymond, don't you? It'll be your cock up - my arse!"

Now had that dash not been there, the sentence would have taken a whole different meaning:

"cause you know what'll happen Raymond, don't you? It'll be your cock up my arse!"

Language!? You gotta love it.

Hammersfan said...

Now now Stani! Just because we were talking about Iain Dale! ; }

Hammersfan said...

By the way, Raymond Chandos has a certain ring to it. No pun on ring intended!

Stani Army said...

Hahaaaa, you said it, not me.

But you gotta love that quote. I've been dying to write it but obviously couldn't on Dale's or he would have taken it the wrong way (no pun either...honest!).

How about Raymond Chandross? He does seem to write dross.

Stani Army said...

...and apologies, I usually include the asterisks but forgot this time. Please edit if you feel it necessary.

Hammersfan said...

Asterisks Stani? Is that dangerous punctaution? ; }

Hammersfan said...

Or punctUAtion even!

Stani Army said...

That was terrible HF, terrible.