Tuesday 13 April 2010

Boa Back For The Reserves!


Poor Ronaldo is quaking in his boots upon hearing the news that Luis Boa-Morte is on the come back trail, just in time for the World Cup! Our much loved one goal wonder turned out for the reserves and helped them to a 4-1 defeat against Wolves. No matter, Boa had a run out and must be looking forward now to breaking back into the first team, no doubt dreaming of scoring the winning goal on the last day of the season that keeps us in the Prem, en route to displacing Ronaldo in the Portugal team in South Africa!

It's hard to know what we have missed most during Boa's prolonged absence, his incredible finishing or his perfectly timed tackles just outside our penalty box. But the wait is nearly over! Come on Luis, show Tevez who really kept us up in the Great Escape!

I'll tell you what, looking at that picture, Messi may have two good feet but Luis has three legs! Never mind Boa-Morte, Boa-Constrictor would be more appropriate. One West Ham blogger will be drooling over Boa's wonderful tackle and rating him 10 out of 10 regardless of how well he plays!

Come On You Snakes In The Pants Irons!

26 comments:

Kareem said...

I wonder what'll happen with him next season...

Anonymous said...

Based on the photograph, he has a career in dodgy movies. Mind you, I wouldn't want to b e behind the camera when it comes to the money shot!

Anonymous said...

Is this another show of racism hammersfan i hope not or the authorities will be alerted and set upon you. The picture of Boa is not a deent pic as there may be children reading ths blog (not likely though)

Hammersfan said...

I would be very interested to know how you perceive this as racist! Do enlighten us.

As for the picture being indecent, Boa is wearing more than he would wear on a public beach or at the local swimming pool!

Iain Dale said...

Is that picture to scale Hammersfan? In which case, I'd just like to say to Luis that I apologise and take back all the bad things I said about him which included the following:

He is the only player at West Ham I have ever booed.

In many ways, you have to blame Zola’s selection of Boa Morte as Behrami’s replacement. You couldn’t fault his application, but yet again it was all to virtually no effect.

I can hardly believe I am typing this but it’s confirmed that Julien Faubert is in discussions with Real Madrid about a loan move. Coming tomorrow: Sir Alex signs Luis Boa Morte!


There are two other possibilities. The one I dread is that he might do what Curbishley did once or twice and put Boa Morte up front, or secondly that he might play 4-5-1 and play a five man midfield of Collison, Behrami, Parker, Noble and Boa Morte.

He also said he was very pleased Boa Morte was staying and that he was very enthusiastic and had played very well each time he had appeared for the team. Ahem.

Ok, well who wouldn’t? Sky Sports is reporting that Luis Boa Morte has rejected a move to Hull City. He wasn’t happy with the personal terms on offer, apparently. In some ways I can’t blame him, but Zola should make it clear to him he is not part of his plans and he won’t be playing regularly. Anyone know how long his contract runs for?

.....and with Boa Morte hopefully off to Hull

The great West Ham clearout of fringe players continues. Various papers are reporting that Hull have agreed a fee with West Ham for Luis Boa Morte. However, before we get carried away he hasn’t agreed personal terms yet. Fingers crossed.

And the Fourth Player to Leave…
… may well be your favourite and mine, Luis Boa Morte. Yesterday it was rumoured that Cardiff were in for him, but this evening it is thought that Hull may have put in a £2 million bid. Take it.

Iain Dale said...

And Luis Boa Morte may be on his way too. Happy Christmas!

Boa Morte as as useless as ever, although he did actually manage a shot on target. Which was nice.

It’s also said (whisper it) that Boa Morte didn’t do too badly.

Yes, it was right to trim the size of the squad and get rid of fringe players, but we haven’t really done that have we? Nigel Quashie and Luis Boa Morte are still there.

I’d love Joe Cole to come back though. Wonder if Chelsea would be interested in a swap with Boa Morte…

Not much transfer gossip about is there? The one which really brightened up my day was the rumour about Sunderland being interested in Boa Morte for £3 million. And just to be clear, they would be giving us £3 million and not the other way around.

And Now for the Good News…
The News of the World reports that Luis Boa Morte wants to quit West Ham… He says: “I’ve got two more years on my contract. I can’t say I am completely happy at West Ham. In the end we will see.”

The brightest player and certainly the first half man of the match was (whisper it) Luis Boa Morte. No, I couldn’t believe it either.He was tenacious in his tackling and had several mazy runs. He disappeared a bit after half time but it was his best game for us by far.

Oh, I haven’t mentioned Boa Morte yet, have I? No, thought not. Best to leave it there. Even the commentator said he thought he couldn’t be arsed.

Luis Boa Morte is available for selection again. I shall refrain from further comment.

Boa Morte is out through suspension, thank God

But when you drop your best player to the bench (Noble) and persist with the waste of space that calls himself Luis Boa Morte you can hardly blame people if they questions your judgement, can you?

I was praying Dean Ashton could have grabbed one when he came on as a sub for the totally ineffective Luis Boa Morte.

Are We Too Tough on Boa Morte?
The reaction to Boa Morte’s substitution was entirely caused by the way he loped off the pitch. It would have been understandable if we were winning, but it lost us valuable time.

I try never to barrack one of our own players. What’s the point? What can it possibly achieve? But even I was driven to boo him off the pitch.

I’m afraid the broken record is about to be played again, but I do have to mention the perforamnce of Luis Boa Morte, who was appalling. After missing two chances he just seemed to give up. He persistently lost the ball and was, well, just crap. And the way he loped off the pitch, wasting valuable time was a disgrace. There are still 12 hours left in the transfer window to flog him, but let’s face it, who would want him in this form.

I don’t know what my colleague at the Daily Telegraph Martin Smith has got against West Ham - maybe he’s a Sheffield United supporter. But his list of the 25 Worst Ever Transfer Window buys rather beggars belief. In a list of 25 players he’s included no fewer than six West Ham players…I am of course fully in agreement with him about Boa Morte, although I feel he could be rather higher in the list!

Iain Dale said...

I still think we should be trying to offload Dailly (whose move to Rangers fell through), Quashie and a couple of others. Oh, and Boa Morte

There were only two negatives to the game - the referee and Luis Boa Morte. I know people think I have a thing about him and they’re right. Today you could see why. He was a liability.

And don’t get me started on the inadequacies of Luis Boa Morte. You couldn’t fault his effort but there was never any end result.

Upson, Ferdinand and Etherington all put in impressive performances, but I have to say Boa Morte was incredibly disappointing

Now I hope you are sitting down, but I am also going to say a good word about Boa Morte, who I thought gave his best performance in a Hammers shirt today

but Luis Boa Morte was appalling. How on earth did Curbishley ever feel that it was worth paying £5 million for his services.


Boa Morte was as bad as I have seen him. Indeed, I have never seen him have what you could call a good game.

Etherington did more in the first five minutes of the second half than Boa Morte had done in the entire first half. Boa Morte didn’t seem to realise he was on the left and constantly went in field.

We can’t afford to sell Etherington because Boa Morte doesn’t cut it.


After his appalling showing against Chelsea Boa Morte deserves to be dropped.

I suspect Boa Morte will be back too, more’s the pity.

Reports suggest that Green, Etherington and Harewood will return in place of Carroll, Boa Morte (there is a God) and Kepa.

I’d like to see Boa Morte and Carroll replaced but I’m sure it won’t happen.

Curbishley needs to bring in Mark Noble in place of Boa Morte if all Boa Morte is going to do is play centrally

Luis Boa Deadweight
It is sometimes best to write about a match the day after it to avoid unnecessary hyperbole and swearing. But f*** me, is there a worse player in the Premiership than Luis Boa f***ing Morte? I wasn’t impressed when we signed him, and I am even less so now.For a left winger he seems to spend remarkably little time on the wing, leaving to to George McCartney to get to the byline. McCartney may be many things, but a winger he ain’t. Boa Morte does not compensate for Etherington’s weaknesses and provides none of his strengths. And to think we paid £5 million for him and Matty may be sold today for less than half that is some sort of sick joke.

Wow. Now, if we could just offload Newton, Mullins, Etherington, Boa Morte (yes, I know we have only just bought him, but I’ve seen enough…)

Why on earth did we pay £5 million for Boa Morte?
Quite what Boa Morte was thinking of when he handled for the penalty I do not know.

Boa Morte was completely shagged out for the entire second half.

Iain Dale said...

I'm obviously not racist by the way...even though I used to criticise Cole a lot, and Faubert.

Hammersfan said...

Bloody hell, Mr Dale shares my opinions on Boa!

Hammersfan said...

Bit naughty stealing Dale's name though mate.

Iain Dale said...

They're my comments so they deserve my name. Plus, I like naughty.

Hammersfan said...

All fair in love and war.

S J Chandos said...

We can have a laugh like the best of them HF - never understood why you hide your name - what have you got to be ashamed of? over at WHTID we are proud to have our names attributed to our words - what's your lame excuse?

Hammersfan said...

Dear friend S J, I am not the Iain Dale poster. Not sure I make direct reference to anybody over at WHTID in the article do I? If you have seen a reference, then that is in the eye of the beholder. The contributor seems to have an issue with Iain, maybe he is somebody who has been banned in the past? You have no problem with names over at WHTID but an issue with contrary opinions if some are to be believed.

Why don't I write under my name? Because these are the opinions of a Hammers Fan and what goes on in football does not necessarily tally with what goes on in our every day lives. I would HATE for some people to hear me on the terraces at certain times in games for example.

This blog is not about personal glory, getting my name out there nor about revenue generation, it is the ramblings of a West Ham fan written out of passion for the club. That's why I am willing to take "positions" that the club may not like, unlike WHTID, the output of which is anodyne in the extreme in my opinion. The willingness to carry Duxbury's bullshit summed up the site for me.

My position on WHTID is straightforward. I believe the site is a vehicle for Mr Dale who is more interested in self publicity than he is in saying it how it really is over at West Ham. I don't like Dale's politics nor do I like the way he mixes politics and sport as a way of furthering his ambitions. Using WHTID to publicising his participation in the Open Primary for my local constituency was bad form in the extreme in my opinion. The way he bans people for holding opinions contrary to his own may be typical of the sort of Britain he is aiming for.

The site does serve a very good function as a discussion board and your contributions have been a marked improvement on Mr Dale's, but I doubt you have full editorial license to say what you want. And the constraints that contributors operate under are questionable. What's better, having to play the party line writing under your name or being able to say what you believe, even if subversive, under a pen name?

It is not so long ago that a petition was organised on WHTID to try to get this site closed down. Unfortunately, Mr Dale allowed that petition to be advertised on his site. If that is how WHTID addresses conflicting opinion, I would hate to see the guy who runs it working as an MP!

I am Hammersfan or Fanno or Hammersfanno1 or LBMisgod or Trev or Scott, I've even become Big Boy for one regular recently (Not sure how he knows!). Does it matter who I am? This site is about opinions on West Ham, passionate opinions, and entertainment. I welcome your contributions as a fellow Hammer, but I would welcome them if you supported Spurs too.

I think there is enough space on the World Wide Web for WHTID, thegamesgonecrazy and the Org, and any other number of West Ham blogs. Some are more successful than others. Some are hobbies, others are businesses. Some say it how they see it, some don't. Some welcome all shades of opinion, others don't.

On the subject of names, what do S & J stand for?

Stani Army said...

Well said HF...and I only call you big boy because I want Iain to like you.

Chandos,
I think HF has his name in the sidebar. That's your name right HF?

Anyway, he's invited contributors for a pre-match drink in the past, even those that insultingly disagreed with him. I'm sad to say, Iain or you would never do that. I don't think HF has anything to hide.

Hammersfan said...

No Stani, Scott Tracey is a character in Thunderbirds. He was dedicated to preventing the Grand Puppet Master Scott Duxbury from pulling every string he fancied pulling!

The death threats I have received unfortunately explain the need to operate under a pen name. I have a family. However, I also strongly believe that the real world and the web should be kept separate. Look at that plonker who is now an ex Labour candidate. Should he have said what he said? Why not, he was joking. But in the crazy world we now live in, it has come back to bite him. How many Tories secretly support policies of the BNP or UKIP? In this crazy world that is fine providing they don't get caught out expressing the opinions. So, all the tories sing from a script, all the Labour Party sing from a script, and all the Lib Dems sing La La La in hope of agreeing a script one day. Oops, they have come out with a manifesto at last having spent a few days finding a middle ground between the Tories and the Labour Party - Hard Wiring Fairness. Hard on Fairness, Hard on the causes of Fairness?

Stani Army said...

Ahh yes!

By the way HF, are you gonna share with us which party you're going to vote for? You don't have to of course, just thought your view would be interesting.

(just make sure you know who's a left-winger and who's a right ;))

Hammersfan said...

LOL Very good Stani.

I have a major dilemma. I voted Tory at the last election as a protest vote against the Iraq war. I was clear in my mind that Blair had lied to the country and I felt that in a democracy, no PM should be returned to power after openly deceiving the electorate over the reasons for a war.

The difficulty I have is that Brown supported that war and was willing to support those lies. However, he has done a brilliant job in steering us through the economic crisis and with Quantative Easing, actually introduced a policy that I was actively advocating before he announced it. That means he is as brilliant as I am so he clearly deserves to be PM!

So, who will I vote for? That's private but I would urge everybody else to vote Labour. If the Tories reintroduce Thatcherism, they will plummet us back into recession. We do not need to go back to the policies of the 1980s. They were right for the time but this is a different problem we now face. The debt is managable and when the stocks of the nationalised banks recover, will largely be wiped out anyway providing we retain for five years and harvest the profits. The Tories will denationalise and allow investors to claim that profit and uplift in bank stock values - and that would be crassly stupid. They will also squuze the public sector and cause deflation in the economy due to falling demand. That will hit the private sector, jobs will be lost and a downward spiral will be established!

Anonymous said...

"I don't like Dale's politics nor do I like the way he mixes politics and sport"

don't you start doing it then HF

Hammersfan said...

No. I was sensitive to that allegation as I answered Stani's question. Life is politics. Football is politics. What I object to is Dale trying to use a football blog to further his political ambitions. He can run the Tory Party manifesto on his blog if he likes, just don't try to win votes for himself!

Anonymous said...

fair enough.

Stani Army said...

Interesting HF. I must admit, the election is not something I've always paid full attention to because this illusion of choice is very disheartening. The parties that are powerful enough to lead are too similar and the ones that are different are not adept enough.

You talked about Bliars deception and the Iraq war; do you believe the Conservatives would have not gone in with the Americans had they been in power at the time?

What's remarkable is how those connected with the decision to go to war still continue to lie about it. Alastair Campbell crying on BBC shows the kind of sly scum they are.

I have started to pay more attention now since the mayoral elections in which I voted Livingstone.

Before we get back onto football, what's your view on George Galloway?

Hammersfan said...

LOL Yes of course the Tories would have done the same but you expect that of the Tories. I voted for Blair, I had faith in him, and he betrayed that trust. Galloway? I don't allow people to use the c word on this site mate!

Stani Army said...

'cute'? Didn't know he was your type. Maybe you've started to believe the 'Gorgeous' tag he's been given :)

Seriously, you don't like him?

Hammersfan said...

Seriously I loath him.

Stani Army said...

....that's because you're just like one another :)...in a good way.