Friday 2 April 2010

Its All Good News This Friday At Upton Park!


We go into Easter on a tide of optimism and hope. Gianfranco Zola, one of the greatest footballers ever to grace a football pitch in both England and Italy, is at the helm. His experience of playing at the very top of the game will be crucial in helping us play our way out of our relegation plight. Whilst others will scrap, rolling up their sleeves and using brute force, Zola will ensure that we play our way to safety, with points earned for style over substance. Even if things do go wrong, which they won't if we all keep the faith, at least we can say that we went down playing the West Ham way!

Then there is Steve Clarke, a man who made his name assisting big name managers at Chelsea. This man is used to managing high profile, super able players and so he is perfect for working with the likes of Noble, Diamanti, Ilan and Mido. Look at what has happened to Chelsea since Clarke left! Ray Wilkins stepped into his role and where are Chelsea now? Exactly!

And of course we are blessed with the Davids, captains of industry who have Claret and Blue pumping through their veins. These guys have tasted relegation before at Birmingham and seen the club recover, selling it at a tasty profit. They clearly know what to do in a situation like this and we can feel confident that everything they do will be costed against a business plan. With the Davids in charge, we have no need to worry!

We go into the game with Everton refreshed from a three day break. The players will have forgotten the six straight defeats, it will feel like a new start, a new season. Jesus Christ rose from the dead at Easter and Behrami, Cole, Upson and co are rolling away the stone as we speak. With everything going for us, there's only one result possible at Goodison Park!

Come On You Resurrected Irons!

18 comments:

Steve Dunn said...

Nice mate,made me chuckle on a dull boring Good Friday.

H4MM3R said...

this is another of your April fools "jokes" ?

you're such a wag!

Hammersfan said...

Cheers Steve. Irony is no joking matter H4MM3R!

PP Thorne said...

"Oh and as for the mini season ticket, it was great value for money. I have seen 270 minutes of relegation cup final football so far."

Don't you mean 270 minutes of sad capitulation ha ha ha ha ha ha A FOOL AND HIS MONEY ARE SOON PARTED ha ha ha ha ha

Savvakis said...

What else is there to do, but hope against all hope! We have a right to expect a miracle on Easter Sunday. I am really worried what happens after that however. We will have to play another 5 games without God on our side! We may have to resort to playing good football, scoring goals and not conceding a few and we all know we are not very good at that. But I am sure our Davids will think of something by then.

Winston said...

Well, you certainly don't pull any punches back HF. You are right though, it all looks like crap doesn't it. Almost leaderless with sad sack faces. I read your reply on the previous thread. Yes, they have some quality players, much better than i recall. Moyes has stuck with it & done his job quietly it seems. They can be beaten though. Wolves, Birmingham, Stoke & Villa have got draws at their place, but earlier in the season. I find it hard not to be positive, but if we don't at least show some desire to stay up, as teams around us are doing, you won't find a bigger critic of all concerned than me. Two all draw for me. It starts resurrection day Sunday, or else i could be on your side. LOL.

TurdsOut said...

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Come on you Irons!
Everyone at West Ham United.

Hammersfan said...

PP Thorn, after embarrassing yourself on the April Fool thread, you have changed your name slightly but continue to delight in the defeats we have suffered which may well result in our relegation. Tell me, what sort of "fan" are you? You are, as another poster said, urgently in need of psychiactric help. Insanity pervades your every mad ha ha ha. Get help mate, before it's too late.

Peppa (the thorn) Pig said...

1427 You would not believe how wrong you are!!!!.... if only you knew!!! listen for the insane laugh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! but I do continue to delight in the waste of money you have suffered.... cue... or is it queue?? insane laugh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! has got nothing to do with West Ham.... just like this blog wait for it............ ha ha ha ha ha ha A FOOL & HIS MONEY ARE SOON PARTED!!!
How much are the fares from Bracknell and Guildford these days to Upton Park????!!! Seen Blakey on the buses lately???? and then theres a few drinks in the old Boleyn with the sprog that you've dragged along kicking and screaming and the camera...... something to eat...all adds up doesn't it mate??!!
Yep, a fool and his money are soon parted alright
As you're on a religious theme this weekend Trev how about this one... gloating begets gloating..... or you reap what you sow son you reap what you sow!!! Wait for it.................. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. ***Insane fad****

PP Thorne

Hammersfan said...

PP, a fool and his money are easily parted, but not as easily as a madman is parted from his wits. Look at you, raging against this blog in the most humiliating fashion, and for why? Because I repeatedly bettered you in arguments at the Org? Because you carry a chip on your shoulder bigger than Christ's cross? This is a blog mate, it is not a crusade. You are gloating and laughing because West Ham are losing. How sick is that for somebody who is supposed to support the club! I presume you do not go to the games? You have claimed to be a season ticket holder in the past. If so, who is the bigger fool? Who has invested more in watching us fail this season? If you are not a season ticket holder and you find West Ham plumeting towards relegation a reason for laughter, then you are indeed a twisted and insane man or no fan of the club at all!

PP Thorne said...

Hurt and humiliated @1654
Not a season ticket holder and have never claimed to be one!!! but I do go to very many games home and away unlike the very bad armchair critic you are! Like I say nothing to do with West Ham, just love to take the piss out ofy ou and watch you react, sooooo very funny!!!!. Oh by the way you spealt plummeting rong. I get right up your nose and that’s ok with me. Insane I maybe but you are most definitely out of pocket ha ha ha ha !!!!!! Are the fares more expensive from Bracknell or Guildford these days???!!
Very Happy Hammer!!! coz you aint!!

Hammersfan said...

By the way, I drive, park and take the tube. Costs less than £11 return for the pair of us. Company expenses pay for my petrol. Life's a bitch aint it!

westhamtilidie said...

What sort of moron pays out for a mini season ticket when all season long he knew we were going down??!!! Predicted that one beautifully Trev well done again!!!. I get right up your hooter and you know it that is why you are trying soooo hard to find out who I am with your fishing trips but your just chucking and chancing Trev and haven’t the right bait have you??? Who loses an argument on a blog in any case cyber entities taking the piss out of a one trick pony…. I have the help of this shit blog to help me with my mental problems thanks to you setting yourself up to be shot down dad. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Never been caught, certainly not by you Trev, and have a drink most nights whilst I’m taking the piss out of you, after I’ve spent a few hours during the day gloating!!!! Rye smile whist I nod off thinking of you on the train from Bracknell with the embarrassed sprog kicking and screaming all the way there ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Anonymous said...

just seen your owners are complaining to the fa about fulham putting out an understrength team at hull. hillarious, you guys are becoming the laughing stock of the premier league. HAHAHAHAHA

Hammersfan said...

Bill or not Bill, what do I care? Perhaps you are the Nazi Golfer? What do I care? Maybe it is Unemployed from Dagenham? What do I care? Roberto? What do I care? I know you are not 66 because you can use capital letters! What others have I forgotten? The amazing thing is your delusional sense that you get under my skin. You don't, you enhance this blog! I don't ride the train from Bracknell, I drive and get on the tube. I did make the mistake of driving all the way on Saturday and the bloody traffic getting home was awful. Easy drive in. Simple to park (I could see the ground!). Took a stroll round to Gaitskel House in Katherine Road to show my son where his Great Nan and Grandad lived after their house in St Mary's Road, Plaistow was demolished as part of slum clearance. Drank in the Duke of Edinburgh this time. Much more civilised clientelle than in the Boleyn. Waste of money? No, I have really enjoyed my experiences. Latest twist is that Radio Five Live are keen to interview me after a West Ham game as the author of "a well respected West Ham blog". Stick that up your nose and snort it!

TurdsOut said...

"a well respected West Ham blog"

sorry that's too much.... if it's true I'll consider suicide

Hammersfan said...

They wanted me on after the Wolves game but I missed the email. Let me know your real name and I'll say hello on the radio and wish you a happy suicide!

Hammersfan said...

You are an idiot aren't you? You go to away games and try to mock me on the basis of a fool and his money being easily parted? On that basis, what sort of moron pays to watch Zola's team away from home? Masochists perhaps?

As for getting up my nose, you don't! If I was upset by the critics, why would I court your attention? I know what gets up your nose, not the other way round, which is why I am driving you rapidly round the twist. Like I say, you lost the arguments on the Org and have followed me here like Frankenstein's crazed monster. Before long you will be calling me "father" and telling me I have a duty of care for you. You need help but I am happy for you to display your break down on here because it is entertaining for others to witness.

Like I've said before, you are part of the dynamic of the site. Your deranged contributions are welcome! Keep them coming - for as long as the men in white coats allow access to a computer!