Monday 12 April 2010

Try Tears Zola, Try Tears!


Brown did it, Campbell gave it a go, now Cameron has turned on the water works on camera! It seems the PR Guru's have decided that everybody likes a man with the ability to cry. As I write, MPs up and down the land are trying a find a sprog they can have killed off so they too can weep on television. In Blunkett's case, it would have the added benefit of saving on the maintenance payments for the little bastard he couldn't see coming!

So if we lose again this season, don't be surprised to see Zola fighting back the tears. Sniff, sniff, deep breath, fight it, fight it, don't weep as such, there is an optimum wetness of the eyes to be achieved, an optimum tremble of the voice but, be careful, big boys don't cry as such. 10ccs of tears, just 10ccs. "I have" (deep breath) "You" lift the arms, contract the shoulders, "You learn a lot...you learn a lot having a disabled team and seeing them lose like that."

Come On You Turn On The Water Works Irons!

PS Is Cameron gesturing to Brown in that picture or just playing paper, scissors, rock?

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dale bait?

"Is Campbell gesturing to Brown"

Campbell ???!!!

Hammersfan said...

Oops. Wrong master of bullshit and spin! I'll correct!

Hammersfan said...

Dale bait? Are you implying he fancies a bit of Cameron in more ways than one?

Anonymous said...

Sorry?
"Wrong master of bullshit and spin!"

Dale or Campbell?

Hammersfan said...

LOL Very good.

Anonymous said...

Carlos Tevez a west ham hero, and again may wear the claret & blue. What he said.. ‘It is unthinkable that I will score a goal that will send West Ham to relegation,’ he argues passionately. ‘Their supporters feel football; they are passionate, these people invested great support in me. I wish to play again for West Ham before I finish my career. I have some unfinished business there. To score such a goal against them would change my
history with them"

Sav said...

Carlos is the man! I wish there were more players with such and energy and passion about the game and also having true feelings about their old club. The biggest mistake Alex Ferguson ever did and all ManU fans now admit is allowing Tevez to leave. Thank God he did however because he is too much of a nice guy to belong with those pompous mercenaries.

Hammersfan said...

Wonderful words but, come the last game of the season, if Unreal City need to win in order to qualify for the Champions League, what will Tevez do? We have all felt a dangerous renewed confidence this week. The names of Tevez and Bellamy should strike fear in our hearts: it is written in the stars!

And Sav, if Ferguson's boys are mercenaries, what does that make the cash magnets of Unreal City?

Stani Army said...

A player rarely goes up after leaving Man utd. It is the ultimate club, a dynasty.

Joorabchian did Tevez no favours by asking for so much money. Carlos should have stayed, he would have gone down in history.

Hammersfan said...

Like IKEA gives a toss mate. He just saw Tevez as a flat pack commodity. But won't Tevez go down in history if he fires Man City to a Prem title over the next 3 seasons and a Champions League?

Stani Army said...

Haha, you and your jokes HF!?

I dont think that will happen though. By the time City become a real big club, Carlos will be long retired. Plus, South Americans have a different take on the game and sometimes tend to settle for less or retire early which is why you see many going back home. Riquelme for example. He is one of the best midfielders in the world but didn't want a big move from Spain to England or Italy because he just wanted to go home, play footy on Saturday and go to Church on Sunday. That's what he said. I think Carlos will do something similar.

Hammersfan said...

And Messi?

Other South Americans settle in Naples and snort coke of course! If City qualify for the Champions League this season, they will win the title next season. Probably with Jose in charge. Money talks.

Stani Army said...

Messi's still young and has lots to learn...like how to use that right foot more (ahem).

You think Jose would take City? That would make it difficult for him to then take the job he really wants at United after Fergy retires.

Hammersfan said...

Jose will take the job if it is offered. He is arrogant enough to think that the United job would still be his if he wanted it. Make United the SECOND club in Manchester and they will be desperate to recruit him will be how Jose sees it.