Monday 3 May 2010

Zola's Record Breakers


What a season this has been for breaking records - thanks to Zola and his hard working, dedicated, highly skilled and brilliantly motivated squad of players. With Liverpool committed to a Europa League semi final game 3 days later, and stripped of top scorer Torres, many Hammers fans were hopeful that we might end a record stretching back to 1964 and actually win at Anfield. Sadly that record breaking achievement proved just beyond us. Well, put another way, we allowed Liverpool to stroll to a 3-0 victory without ever getting out of second gear.

Never mind, there was another record, almost as long in gestation, which we duly broke yesterday, losing at Fulham for the first time since 1966! Well done Zola and the boys, no other team since I have supported West Ham have managed to do that! And to think, Fulham were resting players and came into the game just 3 days after an exhausting Europa League semi final. All things considered, yesterday's defeat was an incredible achievement! Well done Zola! In Zola we trust!

No more incredible than managing to string together six consecutive defeats in the Prem of course. No other West Ham team has managed that either! Well done Zola! In Zola we trust!

But that's as nothing to the achievement of securing the lowest number of away victories in the Prem ever recorded by a West Ham team. Until this season, the record low was 3 away victories, this season Zola has masterminded just one away win! Well done Zola! In Zola we trust!

Then there is the fact that we have recorded our lowest ever number of victories in a Premiership season. The previous all time low was 10, even if we beat Man City...sorry, I will stop laughing in a minute...we will total just 9 wins this season. Well done Zola! In Zola we trust!

And, of course, this season has seen us record our lowest ever points total in the Prem. Even in the Great Escape season we mustered 41 points. Even under Roeder we struggled to 42. Under Zola, the total is 34. Of course, if we beat Man City...sorry there I go again...I'm getting stitch from all this laughing...sorry, even if Zola masterminds a victory over Man City, we will end up with 37, still 4 points shy of our record low. Well done Zola! In Zola we trust!

And of course, if we lose next weekend, we will share the record for the lowest points ever secured by a club to achieve survival in the Premiership. I'm sure we can trust Zola and his boys to land that record too! In anticipation, therefore, I would like to say well done Zola because in Zola we trust!

And of course Zola has his own record, stretching back over two seasons now. His win ratio to games played is the lowest of any manager in West Ham's history! (Ignoring Keen's one game spell!) Yes, it is worse than Macari's and Roeder's! Well done Zola! In Zola we trust!

And there's one more record that some of you may not have noticed, a player record this time. Zola has picked Spector to start in 22 Premiership games this season - and that is a record for Specs! I wonder, might there be some sort of obscure link between this record and the records outlined above? We might have to ask Steven Hawking to explore that one! Well done Spector! In Spector Zola trusts!

7 comments:

UKIT said...

Absolutely can't deny the facts of what has been a shocking season.

As inexperienced as Zola is I think most managers would have got the same records with the squad and turmoil we have had. One of the few managers who would have had us further up the table would have been Curbs!

Trouble is us fans don't want mid-table obsurity, safe hands, the dour personality of a manager such as Curbs, or aguably the dull football he produced.

I think had Curbs been here now, with Sullivan & Gold he would have been allowed to this club and the football would have improved as he started building a balanced squad.

There I've said it now. Exciting losing football or dull safe football. I know which I'll take, at least until there is some stability at the club and a balanced premiership squad in place.

I really worry for next season, really will be in trouble without wholesale changes in management and squad.

That said Zola will learn from this and go on to be a top manager, just not here with us at this inexperience stage of his career.

Hammersfan said...

UKIT, "exciting, losing football"? When was the last time you saw us play "exciting football"? What is exciting about passing the ball between the back four five times before lumping it aimlessly forward? We played exciting football under Pardew - ball on the ground, running at defenders, quick exchanges of passes in the final third, getting the ball into the opposition box as often as possible. Under Zola, we play an unhappy marriage of Italian slow slow, quick, slow, slow football and the traditional British "Lump and hope". Most of the time, I'm bored to tears when we have the ball. How many times do we even get the ball into the box? The football is DIRE under Zola, every bit as boring as under Turds. You have to go back to Pardew for football that would get you on the edge of your seat.

Shaun said...

Mr Statto, sorry...I mean HF,
Sure, this has been a season of woes and lows but the bottom line is, West Ham are STILL a Premier League club!! [resounding applause] I really hate to think what may have happened if we had gone down...but that's a hypothetical scenario that simply isn't going to happen now! You point out the 'records' in great detail and the facts don't lie. Next season may bring vast improvement or simply PL consolidation, but I'm damn sure it won't be as bad as this has been! It can't be. It's time for DS and DG to back up their words with actions and show that fortune doesn't have to hide at West Ham!

From what we see and read, it seems that Zola is adamant that he will not simply walk away. By the same token, DG has said that he won't be sacked? Stalemate! The reason Nani was binned wasn't only because he wasn't up to much, it was to remove his salary from the payroll. This would indicate that another 'director of football' or similar position is not required by DS and DG, who we believe are now in charge of transfers themselves? So if GZ does leave the club by hook or crook, can we really expect to attract a proven, top manager, preferably with PL experience who is going to agree to simply coach and work with what he is given, rather than source the players who he believes he needs to strengthen the squad? I can't see it somehow! Or are we to believe that control of transfers would be relinquished by DS and DG and placed exclusively in the lap of the new 'Gaffer' depending on his pedigree, along with a warchest of untold wealth?!

You couldn't have made this season up could you!? We can't second guess it so we'll just have to wait and see...and hope? Big change is much needed and I'm not referring to this Thursday either!

UKIT said...

Yep, HammersFan, thats what I meant. So many fans really opposed Curbs, but he had an unbalanced squad, changing every week and forced to play players out of position.

Pardew put together a balanced squad of average players that combined to be greater than the sum of individual parts.

The point I'm trying to make is the club desperately needs a proven "average" manager who can put together a proven "average" premiership squad in a balanced way, with players playing in their favorite positions. (Fulham!!)

That is a big ask this summer when we know the big earners will get sold right at the end of the transfer window, leaving little time to sort out replacements and we can be sure that Zolas future will drag on into next season before being sacked after shocking results.

I'm really worried for the future of the club, there is too much wrong and too little time to sort it out without throwing money at the problem, which the club doesn't have!

Deane said...

I'd take exciting losing football any idea when we'll get some

hammalot said...

hey you forgot about us never losing at home to Wolves

Hammersfan said...

Had we never lost at home to Wolves? Well spotted that man! We have never lost to Burnley in the Premiership before either as it was their first, and maybe only ever, season in it!