Friday 13 August 2010

Parker Poised To Sign New Contract


The new contract has been on the table since July 28 and Parker is still poised to sign it. That's one hell of a warm up to sign your name on a contract extension.

Of course, he could be checking the small print, you never know what slippery detail the Davids might slide in there: gratifying Karren's sexual needs twice a week; appearing in one of the Davids' movies, completing his trademark 360 degree spin as Scotty moves from one woman to another in the orgy scene; or more sensibly, a clause that results in him only picking up that fantastic salary when fit and playing!

On the other hand, Scotty may have turned his back on £30,000 over the last two weeks because he is waiting and hoping for something. You can picture the scene. Sullivan offers the pen to Scotty and says, "You just have to make your mark there son."
"Was that the phone?" asks Scotty.
"I don't think so," replies Sullivan.
"I think it was," says Scotty, "You never know, it might be Mr Levy with an improved offer."

The guy is being offered over £70,000 a week for the honour of playing for West Ham, and he still hasn't got around to signing that contract. Doesn't that tell you something about the commitment of Mr West Ham?

"So, Scotty son, if you would like to..."
"Cramp. Ouch! Ouch! Sorry, Mr Sullivan, I have writer's cramp. Can't hold the pen! Hang on, was that the phone? I think it was you know. Maybe it's Mr Levy with that improved offer?"

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Most footballer's contracts run from July to June so I'd expect that Parker's salary increase will be backdated to the start of July.

The delay is probably just negotitations which wouldn't be unusual considering it's probably the last big contract of his career.

Some contract negotiations take months not weeks. Just because it's been on the table for a few weeks doesn't mean that the terms have been acceptable to him for that period. They may have only reached agreement in the past few days (e.g. when the story broke that he's going to re-sign)

In addition, Liverpool have now signed Poulsen as cover or a replacement for Mascherano so they won't need Parker. Villa are Managerless so are unlikely to make any moves for the time being and Spurs quite rightly won't pay over the odds for a player that's almost thirty.

I guess this isn't as sensationalist as your conspiracy theory but every so often things are just rather boringly as they seem.

Time to concede on this one now HF. He's not going (for now anyway).

Anonymous said...

HF do us all a favour and go and support the spuds ffs

Anonymous said...

Where's your mate Stani Army this week HF? You two had a tiff? Has he finally seen the light?

Hammersfan said...

No idea but it is Ramadan.

Hammersfan said...

We will see 1756

Anonymous said...

Yes you will HF, eventually.

Anonymous said...

I dont get why this blog gets so much stick. I come here every day and always find it an entertaining read. Some people dont seem to get the joke. The replies on the BNP thread are ridiculous. Keep it up HF! And to the moaners get a sense of humour or a life.

Stani Army said...

18:27
It's so lovely that you're thinking of me. Miss me did you?
As HF has said, it's Ramadan and a pretty busy time. Fasting for 16 hours, and after packing a meal, prayer, sleep and another meal in the remaining 8 hours, you really don't feel like doing much during the day.

You're free to try though. No sex, food and drink, smoking and general excesses between dawn and dusk which is around 5am to 9pm. Best of luck and let me know how you get on!

Anonymous said...

Has anyone remembered how we offered Benayoun a new bumper deal that he was 'poised to sign' before he left us for the 'Pool? I'm not holding my breath on Parker, it's a concern if we lose him I think, not a disaster if we get a lot of cash for him, but still a concern nonetheless - for a morale if anything.

Hammersfan said...

Trust it is going well and you are resisting temptation mate.

Good point 2152.

Stani Army said...

Yep, all good mate. I think these days temptation is avoiding me!

I'll be around for match days (especially for you anonymous ;)), I'm sure the Bigman will forgive me that at least.

As for Parker, they're in the goading stage, they're goading him to hand in a transfer request.