Monday 13 September 2010

Huth Stokes The Fires Of Unrest At Upton Park

So Stoke have done what we did at around about this time last season, beat Villa on a Monday night with a late, late winner to record a crucial first victory. It leaves us rock bottom, the only club in the entire league without a point.

You can bet your life that the Britannia will be rocking now when we show up. Back to back wins would do very nicely, thank you very much, and our weakness down the flanks and vulnerability at set pieces will have Pulis rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Do you fancy Upson, Ben Haim and Green to withstand the aerial bombardment that we are sure to be subjected to?

Of course, General Avram looks unlikely to be there. It seems that archaic religious nonsense is more important to him than doing the job he is paid to do. Only at West Ham! Have you EVER heard of a Premiership manager absenting himself from a game because of his religious beliefs? It would be a joke if it was in any way funny!

I shouldn't think Yom Kippur will stand in the way of Levy and his Spurs team! How ironic, given all the Jewish taunts at Tottenham from our fans, that we should find ourselves managerless for a key game because of a Jewish holiday.

What is Yom Kippur? Well according to Jewish tradition, God inscribes each person's fate for the coming year into a book. Well, if we lose at Stoke, Ladbrokes will install us as nailed on favourites for the drop in their book, that's for sure! And I suspect Avram's fate may be signed and sealed too. Never mind Yom Kippur, he will be smoked bloody herring by Christmas as we seek yet another Messiah to nail to our crossed hammers!

7 comments:

Stani Army said...

Yom Kippur will save us from Grant and Ben Haim!!! It cannot be a bad thing!!! I was praying :) for Yom Kippur

Anonymous said...

Groves is in charge for the stoke game. Our chairmen are very supportive of Grant's day off! Isn't that nice. I wonder if this is a paid holiday for Grant? I have lost all respect for west ham utd.

el martillo said...

Football supporters in general behave in a quasi religious fashion and blind adherance to claret and blue dogma by the "faithfull" is the reason that HF receives such vitriol. As a good Atheist he is able to separate the passionate support he has for the team from the ability to dispassionately evaluate the performance. His reward for evaluating the evidence objectively (whilst keeping his tongue firmly in his cheek) is to be called the anti-christ... a spud.
Perhaps G&S could take advantage of this religiosity by applying for official religious status and take advantage of the tax breaks that would surely follow. I suggest that a football managers priority should be football and that anyone who puts his quirky superstitions before the job that he is very well paid to do is unfit for that position.
As Dickie Dawkins put it "Avram, it's either Yahweh or my way" Avram has chosen Yahweh and as such is unfit to manage West Ham United football club. The sooner he is gone along with his apologist Gold and the obnoxious Sullivan the better.

Deane said...

well said Stani

Hammersfan said...

Spot on Marty!

el martillo said...

Is it just me or does that young lady on closer inspection have a small penis?

Hammersfan said...

LOL that's Keira Knightley in Atonement (get the link?), not Lady Ga Ga! It is called a pubic mound mate. And a very cute one too if I might presume to say. I wouldn't chuck her out of bed even if she bent it like Beckham's!