Monday 25 October 2010

Come in Pardew, your time is up!

Model Katie Downs takes part in a photocall to promote Ann Summer's new Marble Arch store on August 29, 2008 in London, England.

When he departed, zipping his flies, Pardew left the door open for a return some day. Leave it a while, he said, doing up his trouser bellt, like a guy leaving a toilet after a vindaloo. He also made all the right noises about West Ham being a great club and about having "unfinished business". Whether that was Mrs Fletcher or one of the other WAGS, nobody is quite certain. But love him or hate him, and I suppose that depends a lot on whether you are the WAG or the player, you can't deny that in that one great season in the Prem under Pards, we played some pulsating football.

Sacking him was foolhardy in the extreme in my opinion: even if the rumours are true, the Welshman was hardly a key member of the squad so should have been shipped out with a lump of money to keep his mouth shut, and his partner's legs firmly closed. A "final warning" would have sufficed for Pardew, with directions to a local massage parlour should he feel the need to dip his wick again.

Pards is out of work again and has two advantages as a possible appointment to help us out of our present predicament. He would come cheap and he could play second fiddle to Grant, with the Israeli "promoted" to Technical Director, leaving Pards in charge of team affairs - although perhaps affairs is an unfortunate choice of word in the circumstances!

Bring back Pards and we would have a motivator alongside Grant, a guy who would show some passion on the touchline and get the fans and players alike stirred up. Given that Sullivan and O'Neill would last five minutes together, Pardew is probably our best bet at the moment - although I have a hunch that Turds is S&G's first choice as Grant's replacement - unless he so queered his pitch when the Hull vacancy came up that the Dildo Boys won't touch him with...well an Ann Summers paddle!

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

No way, Pardew is not the answer. He was never the answer in the first place. I saw every home game he was in charge and he often looked completely out of his depth with a tactical ineptness that saw him forever seemingly sticking on full backs when we were chasing a game or believing Mullins was the key to a defence. You'll be calling for Lou Macari next...

T.I.S said...

Couldn't see Grant wanting to be in any other capacity than manger, and I doubt Brady would want to waste money on such as pointless position. Wouldn't mind having Pardew back at some point, but i'm fully backing Grant, even if I am one a very few. He has us playing some good positive football, and is making mistakes. I do however, feel he will certainly learn from them. A win on Wednesday is imperative, and so is a battling performance against Arsenal and a win against Birmingham. Wonder what life would be like with Hitz, or Ashton, or a fit Dyer, or Pardew, or Zamora...

Anonymous said...

Green is god-awful. He can't make an above average save for his life. He gets lucky every once in awhile, but if you've noticed the man doesn't make saves, he hits them hoping the post will make the Save.

Headmaster said...

Anon 1839 is spot on. Pardew was hugely overrated and West Han fans who hang on to one good season forget the shite that we were fed in the so called Championship where, if memory serves, we lost 16games in the season we were promoted, finishing a very fortunate 6th after a shock home defeat by Reading who looked to have 6th spot all sewn up. Then we had all of the baby Bentley debacle, then rumours that you so rightly allude to involving improper sexual conduct . Further, as you also rightly say, Pardew is currently out of work. Why is that FFS? Footballing reasons? Seems unlikely given that Saints had just won a game 4-0 and were but 4 or 5 games into a 46 game season. I would suggest that like Hsrry in terms of finances, Pards is tainted in other areas and is not the answer.

Hammersfan said...

We all have our vices mate. Avram enjoys a good massage allegedly, thus the need to atone. 'Arry likes brown envelopes, Fergie enjoys his red wine. So what if Pards likes to screw around?

Headmaster said...

Because screwing around on your own doorstep is the major transgression and dereliction of responsibility in the workplace, particularly when it is based upon power and influence. It destabilises and shows weakness of leadership and a lack of focus. To do it once is careless. Twice is unforgiveable.

Hammersfan said...

Pards exercises no power over the WAGS mate, and they are not employees. If you have sex with a child's parent, is that an issue? Shouldn't be. It takes two to tango. If my wife screwed my boss, I'd hold my wife responsible, not my boss!

Anonymous said...

What's all this sympathy towards grant for? Technical director!? Please, what qualifies him for that? Not his agent are you?

TurdsOut! said...

HeadMASTER - I note that you have returned to Mr Dales site with your tail between your legs... hahaha how very sad - and a perfect example of the state of UK society in the 21st Century - HeadMasters just don't have the backbone they once had, no wonder we have these feral kids running around that no one can control.... you are worse than pathetic.

John said...

After Saturdays performance the whole squad aught to be at least on double training.
The team lacks the mental and physical vigour of the opposition sides. A classic example of this is a comparison between Cole and Carrol.
If I remember correctly we were suffering a similar problem when Pardew was sacked. Pardew I think had lost the dressing room is there a similar problem with the existing management? weird decisions must lose the manager the respect of the players and Grant certainly seems to be making plenty of those. I certainly think he would be "dead wood" upstairs

Hammersfan said...

Not too many weird decisions John. Sending on Ilunga was perverse. Starting Behrami was strange but how late in the day did Dyer present his latest sick note? Starting Cole? Not so odd in my opinion and first half, it looked like working. Don't forget Cole scored from a Piquionne cross!

Anonymous said...

steeling ideas from posters on kumb now!!!!

Hammersfan said...

What post is that? Haven't been on KUMB for months. You meant stealing by the way. Still, KUMB is incorrectly spelt too so why am I surprised? Still losing in The Game I see!

Headmaster said...

TurdsOut - I don't do 'tail between my legs' trust me.
I've returned there sporadically now that Mr Dale has removed the feature that I left for in the first instance, if you must know. As for your views on today's youth, go back to yer Daily Fail and your job as a whatever (assuming you have one), you nomark.

Hammersfan said...

I think he is a groundsman mate.

Hammersfan said...

By the way, isn't that the most wonderful picture? Bradford and Bingley would never have gone bust if all their staff had dressed like that! Mind you, some of the deposits might not have been the sort that would accrue interest!

Anonymous said...

HF, when taking the P out someone at 1812 due to their spelling don't make an 8 year old mistake of a "too" when a "to" would have sufficed.

Hammersfan said...

LOL You idiot! You can't spell too! Try to remember it like this:

I am going to the zoo, you can come too!

You need the extra o for too, as in, "as well as" or "in addition to".

Boy you are a moron 2323!

Don't believe me, here is the dictionary confirmation for you:

too 
–adverb
1. in addition; also; furthermore; moreover: young, clever, and rich too.
2. to an excessive extent or degree; beyond what is desirable, fitting, or right: too sick to travel.
3. more, as specified, than should be: too near the fire.
4. (used as an affirmative to contradict a negative statement): I am too!
5. extremely; very: She wasn't too pleased with his behavior.

Pablo said...

2323 - Doh!

Hammersfan said...

LOL Very good Pablo! Concise!