Monday 10 January 2011

Official Site Questions Cole!

So, the OS is asking us if we have any questions for Carlton Cole! Now, let me think? Hang on, a few questions will surely come to me if I think long enough about it...

How about...

Have you any idea what those funny net things are for at the end of the pitch Carlton?

Or

What do you think of Avram's tactics and management style Carlton?

Or

If Zola was such a great coach, why did you only score one goal in the last 15 games you played for him?

Or

Can you train more than twice a week Carlton?

Or

What would you give for a couple of wingers playing on the correct flanks and knocking in crosses Carlton?

Do you think any of those would slip past the OS censor?

Nope? OK then...What's your favourite film Carlton? What's the best goal you've ever scored? Do you prefer strawberry or raspberry jam?

The OS, it only asks the BIG questions!

8 comments:

Clez said...

I'm telling you HF - Carlton has a brilliant future at West Ham - as soon as a manager realises his best position. Hear my out on this, Cartlon has the ability to be turned into a terrific centre half - and yes, I'm being serious. I watched our first game of the season in 2008 against Wigan and he was our best defender at set pieces by half. He has pace, an ability to get his head on the ball (admittedly not in a productive manner in front of goal), and I am sure he would turn out to be an excellent CB. We would not miss his goals (as he does not score any), and he cant be any worse than Thomo, Gabby, Ben-Haim, Da Costa and most woeful of all, Captain Crud himself, Upson.

Anonymous said...

how about why are you so shit?

Anonymous said...

Carlton said:

Bentley in talks with Brum. Larson linked with the Toons. Just the sort of players to put in the crosses I need. Why arn't we bidding for them? Ba will just get in my way.

Hammersfan said...

Is Bentley cup tied? I bloody hope so. Would be typical if he played and knocked us out!

Anonymous said...

Paddy and murphy decide to go to london to donate some sperm! it turned out to be a disaster! paddy missed the tube and murphy came on the bus. :-) coyi

Headmaster said...

Spot on post, HF.
The OS? Your article made me realise that I haven't so much as visited the site since before Christmas. Tells you something that. I used to hit it 2 - 3 times a week. I have got zero interest in a propaganda machine. And as for an interview with Cole. There is no question that springs to my mind that the OS would even contemplate. I think yours were polite, mate!

Anonymous said...

There are thousands of things that need to get fixed before Cole, Strikers get hot and cold you cant rely on one guy to do it all, this is irrelevant. You could say all the same things to Torres and do you think anyone on l'pool side is saying get rid of the bloke? No. You need more than one striker, and our left/right/anyone called wingers are tit shit, might as well say parker is the best crosser... (sarcasm)

Anonymous said...

There are thousands of things that need to get fixed before Cole, Strikers get hot and cold you cant rely on one guy to do it all, this is irrelevant. You could say all the same things to Torres and do you think anyone on l'pool side is saying get rid of the bloke? No. You need more than one striker, and our left/right/anyone called wingers are tit shit, might as well say parker is the best crosser... (sarcasm)