Tuesday 31 May 2011

West Ham to Consider Legal Challenge to Relegation

With the appointment of Sam Allardyce imminent, a source close to the club has revealed that Sullivan and Gold are considering a legal challenge to the club's relegation. Despite finishing bottom of the table, 7 points adrift of safety, the club believe that it is unreasonable for them to surrender their Premiership place to Swansea City.

The newly appointed Communications and Strategy Director, Lee Vitout revealed: "The situation is absolutely absurd. We are talking about the English Premier League - the EPL - and Swansea are not an English team. Wales has its own Prince, its own language, its own version of a Parliament, its own European Community handouts, its own sheep and its own football league and version of the FA Cup."

He continued: "You have to ask why Swansea are allowed to play in the N Power Championship, never mind the EPL. West Ham United are an English club based in the nation's capital city and it is thanks to West Ham that England won the World Cup in 1966. To replace this great English club in the EPL with a Welsh team is a total travesty which will undermine global marketing of the EPL brand."

Challenged on why it would be West Ham who retain their place rather than Birmingham or Blackpool should Swansea be denied promotion, Vitout explained: "As the Champions, QPR replaced the team who finished third from bottom. QPR did the best in the N Power and of the three relegated clubs Birmingham did the best, so their place was taken by Warnock's charges. Blackpool and Norwich swap places according to the same logic, so Swansea, as the weakest of the three promoted clubs, are replacing bottom of the table West Ham. Therefore if Swansea's promotion is blocked - as it obviously should be - then all logic and justice demands that West Ham retain their Premiership place."

A spokesman for the EPL replied: "Like everybody now at the club, Vitout is an utter cnut."

35 comments:

Stani Army said...

Hahaa, very good. You could see Sullivan do this!

Anonymous said...

silly lil bubbles be blowing in2 the championship shame ur 2 shit and got relegated i havent been to a shit stadium in awhile AVRAM GRANT legenddddddddddd dave jones next whu manager hope so coz hee fuking garbage jus like u inbred fuks JACKARMY

Anonymous said...

If true.... disgraceful comments and I would be embarrassed to be a supporter, never heard them complain before and strikes me as very very sore losers! Shame on you....

Anonymous said...

Great wind up

MatSwansea said...

I would just like to point out not all Swans fans are immature children (anonymous, casing point). Most of us can read and understand a tongue in cheeck blog post when we see one! All the best for next year with Big Sam. Cheers, Mat

Anonymous said...

There's a greater population of pakistanis in england than there are welsh people in wales, you don't mind foreigners in your country but in your football league is taking a step to far...

The ignorance of blind men

taffyjack said...

You are a racist twat!

Anonymous said...

Give me your address and I'll pop over, tongue in cheek or not, you're a twat.

Hammersfan said...

Some idiots seem to be taking this seriously!

Anonymous said...

You're right about them welsh sheep, a much better shag than the english ones! XXX

Anonymous said...

Man....that's funny. You cheered me up after the agony of relegation. Thanks HF.

Anonymous said...

Now Ranger's and Celtic can argue their point that they also should belong in the EPL!! Surely they deserve it more than Swansea!!

Anonymous said...

Wales has its... own sheep.

Priceless LOL

RTR1879 said...

Like most teams, Swansea have their fair share of dickheads. Sadly, they seem to be the ones who have keyboards.

Anonymous said...

Oh come on people (apart from a few) did you not see the Lee Vitout (Leave it out) clue!!!
22:19,you should get some plasters for them knuckles,they'll get sore after a while...nice one Fanno

Shaun said...

Well, I keep telling you not to venture your 'racism' over Offa's Dyke towards us Welsh don't I HF... but you don't listen do you!!
Swansea happens to be an old stomping ground of mine.....great place, good times!!
Can't see your 'disclaimer' at 01:04 preventing the Cymru commandos from tracking you down this time?! (",)

...and Stani: "Hahaa, very good"??! Shame on you!

On a lighter note... Liverpool are actually delighted that Swansea have made it to the Premier League, as it means that they WILL now get to play in a different country next season!!

Anonymous said...

Vey funny!! loved the "they have their own sheep" lmao JACK ARMY

Anonymous said...

Hi i was born in Dagenham 50 years ago and have always been a long suffering hammers fan, We moved to Swansea 10 years ago so my two boys have grown up watching Swansea matches(although it has been made clear to them that it is only an adopted club)We watched swansea at their worst almost out of english football and then sold for £1. Since then sensible mangement based on being debt free has seen the club progress. The best thing I really admire is that the supporters trust own 30% of the club and are one of very few clubs that financialy are in the black. Swansea have made the premier league by working their way up from the very bottom and they have achieved this with out a fat cat owning them. I think they have earnt their position in the premiership rather then the rip off money making clubs that fleece their fans.

Anonymous said...

Just jealous. You cant stay up so you have to take it to the courts to try and go back up. SHIT CLUB

Stani said...

Shaun,
Actually, you've totally misunderstood my comment. HF was taking the piss out of Gold and Sullivan and that is what I was commending him for. Just the other day Sullivan was quoted as saying "we only want a English manager...or a British one" and this post touches on that ignorance (I won't call it racism) and takes the mick out of them. THIS IS WHAT I WAS COMMENDING HF FOR. I'm surprised the rest of my comment did not give this away to you...you know, the part you did't quote.

My comment was actually in support of the Welsh if you actually understood it. So I guess the shame is on you Shaun.

Dave said...

We've just been relegated, and I've just been "stitched-up" for gross misconduct and lost my job! Hey Ho! But like all West Ham fans I'm optimistic if nothing else; the glass is always half full, eh? Keep laughing in the face of adversity I say. Good on ya HF, a very entertaining, tongue-in-cheek post! Knowing a lot of them "boyOs" They're probably pissin' themselves laughing at this whilst trying to get into Mary's little lamb right now (lol). All of the Welsh people I have ever met have been brilliant; They have the ability to take the piss out of themselves more than we ever could. After reading some of the comments on here it amazes me at how clever Welsh sheep have now become; I mean, do you know of any English sheep that can type and use a computer?

Dave said...

actually after reading on, it's become apparent that a few of those sheep have now got across the border too. Have you ever thought of getting people to agree to a statement before allowing them to comment? For example "In leaving this comment I pledge my allegiance to West Ham United and totally agree that all other football clubs are S**T in comparison!"

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha 11:41! Fleece their fans? It's those welsh sheep again.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha fun wind up. I'm amazed anyone who has the mental capacity to both read and type can actually take this seriously!! That would be the funniest thing about this post if it wasn't so sad...

Again, good luck WH in the championship next year, I can't containt my excitement that we in Swansea will get to experience the PL next year! JackArmy!

SwanZboyo

Anonymous said...

Funny how Swansea,Cardiff,Wrexham and Newport have been in the English leagues for around 100 years and now just because West Ham were the shittest team in the premier league they are looking for away to get back up because they won't be able to get promoted next season

Hammersfan said...

Cheers guys. Amazingly, some are STILL taking this post seriously. Do they have schools in Wales?

Shaun said...

Stani...
Please DON'T insult my intelligence by attempting to dig yourself and HF out of a hole!!!
I misunderstand NOTHING you or he sees fit to publish, believe me!
The post contained inappropriate content aimed at the Welsh which is all too easy to class as 'tongue-in-cheek' when it rightly attracts a totally proportionate vitriolic response!!
It would appear your sycophancy has achieved new high levels that are blinding your judgement!?
If I, on a whim, decided to be racist towards you simply to be sensational and attract a few cheap sniggers...would you simply deem it 'ignorance'?? No, I didn't think so somehow?!
Swansea aside, maybe you should read the latter parts of the second and third paras of the post again and reconsider your fickle patronising bullshit!! Let me now reiterate any 'misunderstanding'... all shame lies with you Sir!! (and HF of course!)

Stani said...

Dear me. I was actually expecting an apology Shaun but how wrong was I? All I'll say is If you knew how wrong you were, you'd be embarrassed! In fact, I am embarrassed for you. Shame on you. I know I'd be feeling uncomfortable if I were so wrong abut someone. Your comments continue to show that not only have you failed to understand HF's post, but also my comment that followed. If anyone's judgment is being blinded, it is yours. But think what you like, because it does seem like you always do. Why? Well it's comforting isn't it, telling yourself you were right all along.

I know HF doesn't usually enjoy defending me, but I think he should here. And please do not compare me to HF, I am much more innocent than him. There is no reading between the lines in my comments. They are straight. You do not know how wrong you are.

Shaun said...

So Stani...
Just what exactly am I supposed to be apologising for....being Welsh?? (Ain't gonna happen!)...being the wrongest wrong person out of Wrongville? (given that 'wrong' is obviously the word of the day!)...certainly not!
Am I 'embarrassed'? Hell no! Do I feel 'ashamed'? Not at all. Why should I?

You rather patronisingly imply that I've missed the point in the post...failed to see the bigger picture even...misunderstood the 'obvious'?! Those cheeky double entendres must have floated right over my head, right?....WRONG!

There is no hidden message in that bilge. Nostrodamus didn't write it...HF did! We are not expected to decrypt a 'bible code' style message every fifth or seventh word...it is what it is!

You believe it to be one thing, conveniently...whereas I interpreted it differently!
You are entitled to your opinion, and I am entitled to my own...and mine is that it is insulting and inappropriate and it is all too easy, given the response, to define it otherwise.

Hammersfan said...

Oh dear Shaun, you do have deep seated issues with being Welsh don't you? There is only one thing that is vaguely racist here and that is the reference to sheep but that requires inference because, the fact is, Welsh farmers do have their own sheep. And interestingly, on Question Time last night, a Welsh politician brought the debate on nuclear power down to sheep saying, "Chernobyl did terrible things to our sheep in Wales." He stopped short of calling his partner a two headed minger but it shows the importance of sheep to Wales...economically speaking of course!

Dear me, you seem to have lost all ability to laugh at yourself. The post is obviously tongue in cheek albeit there is a political point being made. The Welsh bleat on about independence but want it both ways. Cardiff, Swansea, Wrexham and Newport were allowed into the English Football League before all this independence nonsense. Now you have a parliament, perhaps you should become like Scotland and have a league consisting of two teams that win everything in a league of also rans.

Presumably, you will be cheering on Swansea next season in the Prem? So will I, along with QPR. I hope the boyos do well but if they are as sensitive as you are, they are going to refuse to come out of the dressing room when they see all the inflatable sheep on the terraces.

Grow a pair eh? And I don't mean ram's horns!

Shaun said...

People who are proud of their homeland, race, heritage...call it what you will...don't NEED to harbour "deep-seated issues"! I certainly don't, because I know exactly where I come from....do you HF...honestly? There is actually a high probability that you are descended from a Welshman, given the history of these Isles!

That old chestnut of Welsh over-sensitivity is merely another of your classic cliches, and only serves to thinly veil your hissing Nationalistic attitude and disposition!! If it was just me being over-sensitive to this clap-trap post or even misconstruing it's 'vague' intentions, why did it attract the comments at 23:07 and 23:10, who you simply deemed 'idiots'?!

I can laugh at myself alright, but that involves the use of humour in context...blatant and provocative offensiveness I don't find remotely funny!

I won't be 'supporting' Swansea in the Premiership next season, but I'll be taking a keen interest in their progress and results!
However, I WILL be supporting West Ham in the Championship...unlike you it would seem!?

Your last puerile comment might draw a predictable reaction from another...but at 6ft 4 and 19 stone I'm BIG enough and wise enough to let it lie......just this once!

Hammersfan said...

Let it lie? What are you proposing, punching the laptop screen? How is your size relevant Shaun? Am I supposed to feel intimidated?

Your reaction is well over the top. Suggesting a violent reaction to a tongue in cheek blog is shameful. Never mind grow a pair, groow up!

Shaun said...

'Violent reaction'? Nooo, not I!
Perhaps you've missed my points?... not seen the wood amongst the trees maybe?...failed to grasp the fundamentals possibly??

'Tongue in cheek'? Hahahaha....
Your tongue is far too preoccupied with the functions of hissing and spitting to be wedged firmly in your cheek dear fruit!!

Stani said...

Shaun,
You are wrong about me. I cannot do anything to convince you so I'll leave it at that.

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