Saturday 11 June 2011

The "Owen Style" Zavon Hines Bosman Portfolio

So Zavon Hines has turned down a contract with West Ham, with rumours suggesting that he was so fed up with the way that he was treated last season that he wants to make a clean break from the club. Certainly I picked up on one tweet from the illiterate numbskull when he moaned after a training session, "Some days theres (sic) no pleasing some people".

Of course, if Hines wants to go, there's no way we can make him stay. The fact that we paid him a wage through a whole year when he was laid off injured won't come in to the reckoning. Nor will the fact that we gave him his break in the game. Nor the fact that Hines was responsible for getting Wigan back into the game in that winner  takes all relegation six pointer. Hines clearly feels he owes the club and its fans nothing. Just like Defoe and Parker for that matter.

So I'm wondering what the Hines Portfolio will look like. Owen put together such a classy presentation that Ferguson fell for it and signed him. Mind you, he had something to talk about. The Hines Portfolio will consist of just three chapters: The Goal What I Scored Against Macclesfield; The Goal What I Scored Against Millwall; and The Goal What I Scored Against Aston Villa. One Premiership goal in 9 starts and a further 13 appearances as a substitute - it doesn't exactly set the pulses racing does it?

Of course there will also be the other chapter, "Zavon Hines, the New Michael Owen". That chapter can detail his injury history!

If he wants to go, fcuk him. I suspect that in a few years time, Hines will be on the books of Westcliff-On-Sea via Southend.

16 comments:

Stani said...

He's too thick. How do these people make it to such ages? You reckon it's God HF? Zavon Hines' existence - The proof to all atheists that there is a God!

Bye Zavon. Will be keeping a keen eye on how your career 'develops'.

Hammersfan said...

How did God squeeze in here? I know Hines is a religious nutter but I made no mention of the "maker".

Stani said...

That's the thing HF, He's everywhere! Thanks for agreeing by the way.

John said...

It worries me that he was even offered a contract to turn down. He is too fragile to ever be any good.

Hammersfan said...

We do need waiters in the Paolo Di Canio Lounge apparently John.

Deane said...

how is it that Defoe always creeps in in these things the lad apologised withdrew his request and stayed till the club sold him not really a Judas just an ambitious player with a greedy agent and he owed us a lot less than Parker that's for sure

Sav said...

If you look at the names of the people who have been offerred new contracts, I suspect with the approval of Big Sam, the situation may be more tragic than we thought possible: Spector, Gabbidon, Hines ... hmmm, we are keeping all the good ones I see! Prepare yourself for a long ride in the Championship!

Hammersfan said...

Deane, it may be something to do with the three red cards and the message he was giving that he would bugger up games for the club if we insisted on keeping him.

Hammersfan said...

I suspect Gabbidon and Spector can do a job in the N Power Sav. It looks as if Spector may be Germany bound anyway, to play in the Bundeslega. Can't be all that bad if he is wanted by the Germans.

Sav said...

It is like winning the lottery as far as I am concerned. But I fear he may want to show his loyalty to West Ham. Sorry to be blunt, but I don't think any of these players can be useful in any division (except perhaps Hines if can get a new set of brains from somewhere).

The thing is, just when it is time that the coach has learned what I know the hard way is the truth about these players, he is sacked and then they get a new lease of life by the new manager who feels they can be useful and must be given a chance. For Christ's sake, even Zola has realised just before he was sacked that Spector should not be playing football. Not in England anyway! Grant realised he was probably the world's worst defender but he had the brilliant idea to turn him into an Iniesta!

Anonymous said...

Your a complete Jester. Show us West Ham fans some dignity.

Hammersfan said...

You're a complete jester!

Anonymous said...

I didn't know HF owned "a complete Jester", I've only seen incomplete ones, have you had it long?

It's not hard is it?

you are = you're
it is = it's
is not = isn't
does not = doesn't
they are = they're

Michael said...

Ba has agreed to join Newcastle. So I've heard

T.I.S said...

Don't forget about the Goal against China's finest....bankers.

Hammersfan said...

LOL True!