Sunday 7 August 2011

West Ham 0 Cardiff 1 - The Nightmare Never Ends!

Well I called it, but the Cardiff goal came 30 minutes later than I predicted! First home game, no real threat on goal all match and a defensive error, compounded by crap keeping resulting in a 1-0 defeat!

England men? Dear God, if Parker and Green are England men, then we are in desperate trouble at international level. Tell me, apart from 2 yard passes, what was Parker's pass completion rate in this game? Every forward pass was overhit. He managed one cross onto the head of Nolan and apart from that, he was awful. His third touch is always an attempt to control the ball after his first two touches have allowed the ball to get away from him. Look at when he was clean through in the first half. I could have nicked the ball away from him his control was so poor. Look at the times he overhit his passes, especially when Noble tried to squeeze in. It was a great opening but Parker overhit his pass dreadfully. An England player my arse! A West Ham great my arse. An £8million man my arse. Worth £83,000 a week, my arse!

Then look at Green. His clearances were poor all match and as for the goal, well what can you say? He got two hands to it and still let it hit the back of the net! Crass. Crap. Another Green error costs us a game. But still the blinkered morons defend him like they idolise Parker. These two guys have been a major part of the problem for the last 2 years and I just hope and pray a chairman is idiotic enough to waste good money to take them off our hands!

Mind you, Green was only involved because of dozy arse Ilunga. The danger signs were there when Green headed the ball into touch 10 minutes earlier and the whole left side of our defence went to sleep as Cardiff took a quick throw. Where was Ilunga as the ball was carried into our box? Thirty yards behind the play, ambling as usual. So, for the goal, what did he do? Dwelt on the ball, lost it, tried to buy a free kick and gave up. The guy is a disgrace.

Mind you, we have to look at how toothless we were going forward too. Nolan barely featured. Piquionne deflected a great Taylor cross onto the post. Barerra made it too easy for Marshall after a Cole flick on. And Tomkins had a header cleared off the line that Nolan should have deflected in. But apart from that, what did we offer second half? We were dire because we have no creative flair in the team. Which brings us back to Parker! Did you see his pass into touch? Did you see the way Whittingham caught him in possession inside his own half and Parker responded by giving away the free kick? Did you see that break when it was 4 on four, Parker in possession and Parker ran, and ran and ran and then kicked the ball straight to Gerrard? England man? God help us!

Who played well? Taylor and O'Brien. And Tomkins and Reid, although once Cardiff brought on their big French guy, they looked much more troubled. Promotion favourites? We will struggle to make the play offs!

Player Ratings: Green 5; O'Brien 7, Tomkins 7 Reid 6, Ilunga 1; Sears 2, Nolan 4, Parker 4, Noble 5, Taylor 8, Piquionne 5. Subs: Cole 5, Collison 5, Barrera 4

18 comments:

Stani said...

We should have started with the team we finished with. Changes came too late. Parker needs to be sold asap for all kinds of reasons and....

I didn't know Noble would look so poor even in the Championship.

Anonymous said...

Where did I put my anti-depressants. I think I might need them this season.

Rabelais said...

I think we're suffering a bit of a hangover from last year. Too many players hanging around like a bad smell that we need to move on. Too many players who feel and look tainted.

Dave said...

lackadaisical farce!

Anonymous said...

hf it was a fcuking disgrace that illunga is a prick how you gave him a whole mark your going generous in your old age he is just fcuking joke im thinking we have no out and out goalscorer in the side but now with carew we have 3 big clumsy forwards who most likely only be on the field one at a time no way even between them will they score 20 goals i think the dildo brothers will need to get there cheque book out soon and buy a goalscorer that miller looks like hel score goals this season why dont we even go for some one like that crap player but someone who will get goals

tommy said...

I'm with you here Fanno, same shit different league! IT's the same problems that are killing us. We have no left-back, an unreliable goalkeeper, no goal threat and we were so cramped in midfield. As for Captain NOlan, he was as annonymous as Captain Upson! Positives - Taylor, Reid, Tomkins and I though Noble passed the ball about well and showed some nice skill to beat 2 or 3 players. Apart from that it looks like we've underestimated the Championship and promotion may be harder than we first thought.

AJ said...

Oh come on HF, where's your sense of humour - you didn't expect anything else surely? I had you down for modicum of common sense.

Anonymous said...

Sell Parker, get some money and buy a decent left back and a dangerous striker! Green should stay, I don't think Boffin is ready to take over and we shouldn't waste money on a goalkeeper when we need a left back and a striker much more.

beelzebub said...

I think the thing that surprised me the most was.... no legs ??

Ok last season we had no legs either, but the sam reign is all about fitness, closing down, defending as a team, piling bodies into the box when we go forward..

I saw nothing but tired and disinterested players.

I know its only the first game of a long season but still he had better put his foot up the arse of some of these players before the donny game

Essexhammer said...

I watched first half and was not overly impressed.SEARS and TAYLOR have no ability to take players on ,SEARS has to rely on pace to to get away from the opponent but produced no end result.This match certainly didn't do him any favours and I will be looking to FAUBERT to replace him.Again he cannot take players on but has good pace and can get crosses in.TAYLOR nothing special when it comes to pace ,but a much better passer of the ball and his set pieces are a big plus.NOLAN and PARKER didn't make no real impression,were involved in some neat build up play at times but their overall input to the game was very average.PARKER has some pace on him ,but that one on one with their goalie shows he is not confident in those situations,not a real midfield goal scorer,he should have played as the holding midfielder where he is more comfortable.NOLAN is good at getting on the end of things in the box,but what else does he contribute? NOBLE is another that just does not impress me ,much like PARKER,no real pace,can't dribble or take on players,he is another whose input was lacking.REID and TOMKINS very solid I thought overall.PIQUIONNE looked ineffective most of that first half.The full backs ,still not convinced.Didn't see the second half but it seems CARDIFF mugged us with a smash and grab goal due ti ILUNGA'S error....bloody typical!!! It's going to be a long season ,still think WESTHAM will finish top 6 .

Anonymous said...

Rating Ilunga as a '1' is a joke. He cleared up so much in the first half and at times in the second, especially a crucial header when they had 1 man (miller) on the far side through on goal. Yeah the goal was a disgraceful mistake from not only him, and also not only Green, but also no one was even marking in the box, but still to rate him as a 1 is ridiculous. At least a 5 and Parker was a 2, he couldn't have looked more uninterested if he tried to

Hammersfan said...

Cool Col, I cannot post your comments because of the F and C word. I understand your frustration but please comment again using fcuk and cnut.

Anonymous said...

Ilunga was doing ok till that error.

Anonymous said...

I see the 'doom and gloom' brigade have arrived early this season. It's only the 1st game ffs.

Anonymous said...

Noble was our best CM and played well, don't get the hate for him.

Some of you lot need to get a grip, we dominated the game ffs.

Hammersfan said...

Here we go again! It was the first game FFS. Yes exactly! It WAS the first game FFS. And for the first game, the players didn't look arsed and looked exhausted and devoid of ideas! We aren't up for the first game of the season, what hope is there? Wake up you morons!

hjl6162 said...

I agree with HF 100%..Nolan looks like a lumbering ox..God help us if he's our star signing of the close season..maybe Pardew isn't a fool after all.

Hammersfan said...

Nolan hasn't become a bad player overnight, he's just found himself in a crap team!