So Faubert has woken up at last and realised that he is still a West Ham player. Even worse, standing over him is none other than Doctor Evil, muttering Anglais in some strange heathen accent and demanding that Julian get up and, heaven forbid, run!
"Mon Dieu, qui est ce démon me réveillant de mon sommeil. Je ne l'aime pas. Je pars!"
Amazingly, Lazio are rumoured to be interested. God only knows why.