Monday 6 August 2012

Clare Balding Doesn't Understand Any Old Irons

Don't get me wrong, despite her comment about Liam Treadwell's teeth, I am a huge fan of Clare Balding. She is brilliant in front of the camera and clearly knows her sport. Indeed Gabby Logan and Clare form the perfect Cagney and Lacey of BBC Sport, albeit most of us would not invite Clare along to a dream threesome with her more glamourous Olympics co host.

However, Clare betrayed her privileged roots today when explaining why the Equestrian events had been staged in central London instead of out in the sticks. According to the daughter of race horse trainer Ian Balding, "Many of the spectators here would never have seen an equestrian event, indeed may never have seen a horse in the flesh!".

Gor Blimey Clare. Not everybody in the smoke climbs up chimernees for a living you know! In fact some have cars and get out to the green fields of Surrey, Kent, Essex, Herts and Berkshire from time to time. And anyway, my loverlee, once  a week the rag and bone man tours the streets, his cart pulled by Hercules!

Not seen horse flesh Clare, what do you think is in our pies? Not every butcher trades next door to a murderous barber you know!

Look Pater, it is a Cockney, should we shoot him or call the game keeper?

Bless!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

dont forget Gabby's dad played for the mighty whites !

you seem to have missed a Leeds link........not like you

Hammersfan said...

True! And Yorath was such an ugly so and so!

Anonymous said...

Oh you're such a wag hf,every one a gem. You rank alongside that other w,ham fan jupitus as one of British comedy,s greats. Such class and subtlety,like the bus hitting the cyclist gag. You must spend hours every day at your computor. So much so that you became estranged from your family,although they tell a different story but what do they know? Also the Leeds stuff is top drawer,no doubt you'll be up for several awards at the Fringe. It'll make the 18 hours a day you spend trying to antagonize them all worthwhile,the bright lights await.

Anonymous said...

was he?
I never looked at him that way ;-)

Anonymous said...

"Look Pater, it is a Cockney, should we shoot him or call the game keeper?"

Personally I'd shoot the cockney scum.

Anonymous said...

"Look Pater, its a yorkshireman sh*gging his whippet"

Leave them alone - its only nature.

Anonymous said...

West ham wit eh? Hope the toe rags coming on this post in support of hf aren't representative of the majority? I honestly have never read such rubbish. From the grammer to the attempts at humour and put downs. It certainly gets your tails up when comments contain big words doesn't it? You rush to the dictionaries desparate to contradict and correct. That's all you can do now,spelling corrections and low brow school yard insults. One can only assume that most of you are on remand and that you have access to computors during your association time. As for the host hf or Scott,you called yourself a writer the other day? You make the Sun look like the works of Marlowe.