Friday 30 November 2012

Heavy Handbags Ahead of Huddersfield v Leeds


Why is it that I when I read about Lorimer and Grayson's spat, I picture Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough wielding handbags over the garden fence? In the white corner in the wrinkled tights is Lorimer; in the blue, in curlers and head scarf, Grayson.

Still, it's a good excuse for some Dawson gags:

Warnock said to the chemist, 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the Chairman?' He said, 'Why?' Warnock said, 'He keeps waking up.'

Bates upset Warnock the other Guy Fawkes Night. He fell off the fire.

Warnock said to the Chairman, 'Treasure' - He always calls him Treasure, he reminds him of something that's just been dug up.

Warnock  saw six men kicking and punching the Chairman. Lorimer said 'Are you going to help?' Warnock said 'No, Six should be enough."

What amazes me is that so many people think Leeds are glamorous and exciting. Believe me, watching Leeds is about as glamorous as changing sheets in a bed-wetting clinic.

A letter came from GFH Capital. They could tell it was from the bank as it was written on a wreath nailed to the front door.

There was an old farmer from Leeds
Who did terrible things to his geese
But he went too far with a budgerigar
And the parrot phoned the police.

You can always tell when GFH Capital are coming to stay; the rats throw themselves on the traps.

Warnock said to Bates, "When you're dead, I'll dance on your grave." Bates said: "Good, I'm being buried at sea."

And

Leeds United is an institution and that's where most of the fans end up!

It's the way I tell 'em!

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're trapped in a room with an angry grizzly bear, a hungry Lion, and a fan of WEST SPAM, You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

Shoot the WEST SPAM fan… twice.
Don't you just love him, He's special.
Keep em coming Faggot
Love it
Kev

Anonymous said...

I wonder who'll win in the Chelsea w,ham game? Will w,hams on fire striker caroll grab another hatrick?Or will Noble have an 80% pass rate as he once again tears the opposition apart?As you play host to them why don't you personally play host to a malignant tumour? Keep the family tradition going.

Anonymous said...

Nob.

Anonymous said...

erm,i think you should have kept this one to yourself hf........

Anonymous said...

What did hf dad get for xmas ?
CANCER

Anonymous said...

"Why is it that I when I read about Lorimer and Grayson's spat, I picture Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough wielding handbags over the garden fence?"

Presumably because that's the first image you turned up on Google Images.

Anonymous said...

you really are a uselss piece of knob cheese

Anonymous said...

Shut up Adolf haha

Steve said...

You sir, are a simpleton.

Anonymous said...

Funny how you're aware of the words said by Grayson and Lorimer, but you denied knowing it was the anniversary of Gary Speeds death the other day when you were making another lame attempt to take the piss out of both Leeds and Gary.

Anonymous said...

about as funny as woodworm in a cripples crutch

Anonymous said...

There once a hammersfan from London
Who's granny said go on get stuck in son,
He f*cked her high f*cked her low
While taking it up the arse from his own son

Bum Bum, It's the way I tell em!!!!

Anonymous said...

Getting down with the kids I see Hammersfan. Les Dawson? Jesus wept.

Anonymous said...

Lame attempt to smooth things over after your disgusting effort to goad the leeds fans with your veiled attack on gary speed...us west ham fans that actually attend games are trying hard to rid the club of filth like yourself.

Anonymous said...

Wankers back with more shit!!! MOT

Anonymous said...

Yawn your just boring now, this blog item really is an awful odious piece of shit man

Truly awful

Anonymous said...

Tell us a bit more about your Jew hating racist fellow fans at WHUFC Hammersfan?

Anonymous said...

You really are a w&nker is that the best you can do ? How old are you?

Anonymous said...

Any more thoughts on supporting a club riven with Jew hating racists Hammersfan?

Anonymous said...

alot of talk but no action....have ever watched your team play....or is that another daft question....that you will never answer...